I'd eat humans. I'll gladly grill up some billionaires and have them with barbecue sauce. I think people with terminal diseases should have the option of signing a consent waiver to be eaten, with a strict prohibition on any sort of monetary transaction surrounding the meat. I was also really looking forward to Bite Labs' celebrity eats. I wanted a taste of some famous people's cloned meat.

But I wouldn't support farming of humans. If money is involved in the ending of people's lives, I'm not. And I think it's horrific to raise humans for eating. Same for any animal. The only form of animal agriculture I'm okay with is Aboriginal Australian animal agriculture. Before colonisation, the First Australians would use cold fire to terraform the ecosystem into an ideal habitat for grazing and eating. That's a form I'm okay with. The animals are free to go where they like, and live how they please until they're killed. There's no imprisonment or forced labour, no slavery. And the totem system ensures respect and sustainability.

I won't pass judgement on groups I haven't studied, but I'll say this: I'm dead sure there's no white tradition of farming animals for meat that I'm okay with. And I have yet to be told any tales of a culture whose animal agriculture can compare to the ethical standards set by the Australians. There are only two non-Aboriginal ways of using animals I've decided I'm okay with: Beekeeping, because bees can just fly away if the queen's wings aren't clipped. And hunting wild kangaroos, because they need to be hunted or culled or they'll overpopulate.