this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 days ago

I wish I believed in magic

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 72 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Embarrass herself by telling people she believes in witchcraft.

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago (4 children)

As if its any worse than the alternatives

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 36 points 1 week ago (9 children)

You say that as if you HAVE to believe in magic.

[–] ThunderChunk@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's a lot more fun to believe in magic when you know it's not real than to actually believe in magic.

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

True. But it’s still silly.

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So? Ffs have some fun with life before a climate emergency or secret police get to you.

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 8 points 1 week ago (10 children)

There’s lots of people out there who don’t think playing pretend with magic is enjoyable man. Some people think it’s silly shit. If you like that stuff you’ll just have to accept that part of it.

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[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I cast itchy retina on you.

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 2 points 6 days ago

Underrated reply. My eyes went dry immediately after I read this.

[–] ThunderChunk@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

FYI around the time you sent this I rubbed my eye, but forgot that I had cut jalapeños earlier...I do not like you

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 3 points 1 week ago

Fear my arcane spells.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 week ago

Its not magic, its rune smithing!

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[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's definitely worse than not believing in magic

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Man im too old to give a fuck what people believe anymore.

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[–] Honytawk@feddit.nl 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The only viable religion is worshiping the sun, since that actually exists.

I have said the exact same thing

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (10 children)

Is it though...? As stupid as the Abrahamic God is, at least you have a "God of the Gaps" thing going on where all God really has to be is someone with their own agency to grant you what you ask for and to determine where to place you in an untestable "afterlife". Of course there's an obvious cocktail of inherent contradictions when you choose "omniscient", "omnipotent", and "omnibenevolent" at the same time, but then you can appeal to the idea we wouldn't possibly understand the whims of such a god outside of time and space. Again, stupid as fuck, but you can weasel your way out of anything.

But witchcraft? Okay, you're transferring the agency to yourself, a human that exists here, and you're saying you can perform magic, but now you have no evidence you're capable of jack shit and you have no excuse to pawn it off onto. You'll never be able to do magic your entire life because it categorically isn't real, so is the excuse that witches are real but you personally really suck as one? Is the idea that you do what "God" does and take credit for anything that vaguely "works" by sheer coincidence and ignore everything else? Do you only cast "spells" that function as placebos like easing someone's pain or making them feel happy – similar to many prayers?

And of course with God you don't have any way to test where this magic is coming from; it was there before time and is all-powerful, and there's any number of ways with that setup to weasel your way out. But what's the scientifically measurable phenomenon behind witchcraft? There is none, and unlike God where there also is none, this should be easily testable if it exists since it allegedly interacts with the physical world on your command.

So now you've gone from untestable woo like the afterlife and testable but weaselable woo like prayers to woo that you should absolutely be able to test empirically because you're in control of it.

[–] Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Prayers and spells are exactly the same behavior, a ritual for asking greater powers to intercede on your behalf. For people who genuinely believe in it there's always some "works in mysterious ways" shit to justify when the thing they asked for never happens so they can keep believing it anyway, and as long as they ask in a vague enough way and on a vague enough timeline something will eventually happen that fits the bill close enough for them to call it a success. For people who don't believe it literally but still participate it's basically just ritualized affirmation, a self pep talk to make them feel more confident or prepared or calm using religious/occult symbolism to psychologically reinforce the effect.

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[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 41 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Hmm if she had said "I'll pray for you" we all know what she would have been praying. So witches less shitty than Christians? Or do we need to ask more Christians exactly what they are praying for?

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"I'll pray for you" but it's a prayer to Lempo, god of fucking from Finnish mythology.

[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Frey, brother of Freya, is usually also depicted with a big ol' dick. He's a fertility and agriculture god! Of course you want him to fuck your fields.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago

Lempo isn't a fertility god, though. His areas are erotic love, sex, and sexual prowess. He is also known by the feminine name Lemmätär or Lemmetär (-tar and -tär being feminizing suffixes). It's not surprising that Christian revisionists turned him into one of the chief demons.

what are u doin step field

[–] Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

There is a large amount of the Queer community that practice witchcraft and other esoterica. It is often seen as a spiritual safe space for people outside of hetero-normative society.

[–] Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 week ago

Why leave irrationality to the monotheists

[–] froufox@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 week ago

to smite all transphobes of course

[–] Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 39 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If I had to guess I'd say the friend is either boosting the transition because duh, or trying to fuck because why else would you not tell them what the spell is for? Unless there's some rule about spellcasting like for birthday wishes where it doesn't work if you tell

[–] Samdell@lemmy.eco.br 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Now you raise the interesting point as to whether birthday wishes are witchcraft

[–] Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Depends on who you're asking, from experience all I can say conclusively is that Catholics would definitely say no, but I'm 100% sure there's at least one christian sect out there that would say yes and be entirely serious

Is that sect the JWs?

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 30 points 1 week ago

She's going to cast a seduction spell on anon, obviously

[–] axEl7fB5@lemmy.cafe 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] Baguette@lemmy.blahaj.zone 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Presenting male but identifying (mostly just not publicly out) as another gender

Usually a thing trans ppl do to avoid situations with family or because they live in a red state

[–] Taalnazi@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Or just generally living in a not so good area. Not all places are the US (re: the red state thingy), and they also may use different colours for the same political affilation.

In my area we'd for example translate the Reps as brown (referring to brownshirts), and Dems as yellowish/light red.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Someone who is in boy mode.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 4 points 1 week ago

I read that as boymodder (my fault) and was like, someone into installing modifications in boys?!

[–] match@pawb.social 4 points 1 week ago

got the toggle set to boy

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago
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