They're saying that coz they don't want you to get superpowers.
this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2025
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Narrator: "After eating radioactive shrimp from a contaminated Walmart parking lot, mild-mannered Kolanaki gained the powers of a shrimp!"
Me, twisted into a shrimp shape: "Ow! My back!"
Maybe you just get really shrimpy breath?
You never go full shrimp.
How late into late stage capitalism are we exactly?
At least the FDA is still there to tell us not to eat it. (for now)
Get rid of the FDA and there'll be no radioactive shrimp.
-- our current "government"
The following Great Value brand frozen shrimp products should not be eaten, sold or served:
- Great Value brand frozen raw shrimp, lot code: 8005540-1, Best by Date: 3/15/2027
- Great Value brand frozen raw shrimp, lot code: 8005538-1, Best by Date: 3/15/2027
- Great Value brand frozen raw shrimp, lot code: 8005539-1, Best by Date: 3/15/2027
Came from Indonesia and company importing it has now been banned in the US.
Cesium 137 is definitely not something you want to ingest
The weird thing is that they're saying it was contaminated during prep? So the shrimp wasn't exposed in the environment, it was during processing?
Why does the processing plant have Cesium?
Read on the FDA page cesium-137 is used as a gamma ray source for sterilization of some foods from microorganisms like e-coli and that a label is required to say it has been irradiated https://www.fda.gov/food/buy-store-serve-safe-food/food-irradiation-what-you-need-know
Aha, that makes more sense then!
To kill people?
How did they discover this?
Ok. There's no way I can read this title and NOT click. Iean. I'm only human....
Makes sense. Looks dangerous.
Walmart has had Halloween decorations out on shelves for a few weeks now. If the marketing department had so much as a shred of creativity, they could have spun this as being a promotional stunt for the new Beetlejuice 4K DVD Bluray and Digital Download box set featuring Beetlejuice and Beetlejuice Beetlejuice as well as director's commentary, deleted scenes, and 3 full hours of the shrimp scene on repeat.
There's another option...