this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
168 points (99.4% liked)

Not The Onion

18498 readers
2303 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 7 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 20 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)
[–] kfoo@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yo I’m running to 7-11…y’all need anything?

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Can I get a large Slurpee, mixed?

[–] Otherbarry@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Uncle Joey, you missed your cake again! Maybe you'll make parole next time!

[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Uncle “Jail Bird” Joey.

(30 minutes later and 30 years prior)

“Better get used to this bars, kid”

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 week ago

He was visiting family that are doing a bid. He doesn't want to join them.

[–] bubblybubbles@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 week ago

well at least he's a polite boi