Dig a hole as deep as you can, bury it oriented correctly, hide the burial site as best you can. Sooner or later a landslide or earthquake or flood or something might move it, but hey, if we get really lucky, we might have bought a few million years!
this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2025
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New rule: If nobody is holding the sword, there's no longer any "up", and everything just floats about
The support Djin told me the enchantment is written on Read-Only-Magic runes. We can't patch it in, and no one knows the rumplestiltskin recovery key, so we can't disable the indestructability enchantment either to disintegrate it. Honestly, it'll take a hard reboot of the material plane, but Xanathar is online right now and I'm told it's pretty important stuff, and he has the reboot button anyway so take it up with him.
That's just classic sales-wizard razzle-dazzle. It had to be programmed somehow and there's likely a service rune on the side for debugging. Read-Only runes can be overpowered with the right equipment
Classic Xanathar, holdin up reboots
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)
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Just put it in space. Space has never had an up before, might could use one.
Nah, just make a religous cult out of it
nah just leave it in the fridge next to vegetable drawer. No one will touch it
In the meantime, find a way to unenchant it.
Put it on a giant clock face and see if humans can adapt.
How does that mesh with a spherical world?
Who says the sworld is spherical?
The planets are obviously swords themselves
Good point.
Perfect, all the down vectors mimic the rotation of the local down vector, which is the inverse of the Sword of Up.
Although... What happens to "down"... in the "foreground"? And background?
Now explain this observation with the globe earth model.
Checkmate atheist
The sword of surface normal vector
Limited range
Pretty cool concept if you're an outside observer
- a football kicked from outside of the range would suddenly gain horizontal speed within the range, and then exit the range at freefall speed into the goal.
- a nun walking from outside of the range would suddenly glide like a dark screaming angel of death across the field within the range, only to then end in a series of fantastic rolls after leaving it
- a man on a pogo stick would do a super massive horizontal jump across the field, and the use that potential energy to one final massive jump after leaving the range
There’s always a flying nun.
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Maybe gravity still affects the sword, so when they pointed it right, "up" went right for everyone along a curve.
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The earth is flat, but its flat in spherical spacetime. Checkmate atheists
Easy: 2/3 of the planet is now devoid of life.
You can just put it on the ground. Since it always points up, gravity will always go straight down through its center, so it will be self balancing. You just need some one to guard it.
The wind would make it rotate
Imagine how much fun such a thing would be attached to a windmill on a stormy day.
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hmmm.
As DM, I'm always looking for ways of creating the potential for highly improbable but incredibly humorous TPKs.
And I think I just found a new toy.
Best part is, the Murder Hobo is going to love it. At least, until, eh, we'll they'll just have to find out.
Give it a quick spin and if you're fast enough, it'll just shake everything a bit but everyone around is going to puke.
Brace your back against a tree and just point at an enemy. They'll fall into the sword.
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It's like an Excalibur that fucks with rotational symmetries, GR tensors 'n' shit!
Keep it slightly tilted just to fuck with people.
Have a statue commissioned that will forever hold the sword is from then on a new religion lol
It's all fun ,and games, until one day ~~a child with no parents~~ a protagonist approaches..
So everyone on the other side of the planet has already been flung out into space
Nah, it's a disc planet resting on 4 elephants standing on a giant turtle. They good fam.
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Would putting it in a gyroscope work?
For a time.
Sounds like a potentially great gameplay mechanic for a puzzle platformer.
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Imagine that thing being real and you point it sideways and the whole planet's center of gravity shifts 6700 kilometrrs under you and the whole mass off the planet starts to crumble in that direction
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.......is this a flat plane of existence? Or a globe?
Maybe it's localized.
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flying glitch
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