Jumpropegazing

This is so funny because rust has one of the worst cheating situations and majority of their players are windows users, and theres lots of games that have anticheat that allows linux and have notably less significant cheating problems like marvel rivals. in reality rust doesn't take cheating very seriously because if they did they would have more server side software that detects illegitimate behaviour like tons of other games do successfully...... even most popular Minecraft servers have better functioning anti cheat that is completely server side than rust has while getting kernel access to your pc. its pathetic and lazy development tbh and this entire post from them reads like such extreme cope....

Im 21. back when i was 16 i got into a really abusive relationship with my ex who was the same age, it lasted 2 and a half years. Back then i had lots of close friends that I could talk to about anything. My ex ended up cheating on me and had a lot of mental issues she had undiagnosed, she tried to explain her abuse of me as caused by bpd. I loved her so much and i thought i cant leave and lose the love of my life. The relationship continued to break down, she would yell at me for hours and break up with me then ask me to get back together within the same week and say she never meant any of it and that its her bpd. I was so confused and i slowly isolated from people because she would say if i talked about the relationship people would hate her and i would tell her they wouldn't but I still felt the pressure to protect her. keep in mind bpd doesn't cause behaviours like hers at all necessarily and its very likely she had commorbidities like narcissistic personality disorder looking back especially since she denies having any issues now and refuses to see a psychiatrist or therapist, she eventually started projecting that I have bpd and i thought i may at that point because of how insane everything made me but ive seen professionals and talked about all of this stuff and they dont seem to think i do. and i research these things a lot and based on my own research i think its less than likely that i do.

Later on it eventually culminated in her hitting me one day much later on in the relationship nearer to the end. after i moved slightly further away a smear campaign was started. she started claiming I was abusive and that i was insane. I had proof otherwise since i always screenshotted abusive situations and confusing times because they made me feel so confused and heartbroken. But the people who harassed me for her openly said they dont care about anything i have because im not trustworthy and must just be making things up. The people who harassed me were already people that hated me mainly with a few of my old friends too. one of the people listened to me explain everything and even said its believable and makes sense before saying they dont care because they were only listening so they could say it doesn't matter and fuck with me anyway because that guy specifically hated me a lot for a long time because i called out his fucked up behaviours a long time ago. sorry i feel like im writing so much right now my mental is fucked right now.

i got stalked and harassed on new accounts for years, someone made an account named after an account only my ex knew about and then dm'd me on it saying they were me and that they know everything about me and just trying to fuck with my head. The guy my ex was into near breaking up with me also made a new account just to reference that she probably cheated on me and to dox me online. Ive still not recovered from everything i get night terrors most days and im scared to get close to people. i have friends but im always worried about being an annoyance or a burden or that they secretly hate me and it makes me scared to talk about things i need help with or just need someone to talk to about. i used to talk to friends about these things. now im so desperate that even though i dont even like ai or think its very good at it I'll talk to ai about these things just to at least talk about things because it drives me insane and i get to the point of self harm when I'm isolated in these thoughts. i cant call hotlines they never help and just make me feel even more fucked and alone.

I've talked to a lot of psychs and they think i have severe cptsd, something i had been suspecting before I talked to any professionals. Ive done a lot of work with reorganizing my thoughts and trying to think healthier but i also have severe adhd and autism which gets in the way of doing therapy work as much as id like because i dont have adhd medication yet despite my diagnosis. I've still tried though and i know things have gotten better but at the same time im still so isolated. I have a friend i care about a lot and i cant even tell them anything i feel or think because all my brain can go to is that I don't matter to them like they matter to me and that i should just isolate and cut everyone off.

a few months ago my pet rabbit died, he was all i had through this all, i had some mice too that passed away, and he was all i had left. He emotionally regulated me a lot and since his death I feel all over the place, i deactivated my discord in fear of not mattering and because my brain is telling me i just need to cut everyone off and die. I know it wont actually solve anything but at the same time everything feels so meaningless i matter so little and i feel so alone i just don't wanna be here anymore i can't take it. All i do is harm those around me by being mentally unwell and im not happy or loved im just better off gone. i haven't felt this in a long time but everything feels so stagnant and I just feel so hopeless it feels like itll never get better and that ill just watch as i get worse and worse.

i self harmed yesterday for the first time in i dont know how long and it felt really relieving. at the end of my abuse i smashed my head into things until it bled and i may have given myself concussions i dont know since i never got anything checked out after but I'm afraid of getting to that point I'm afraid to feel like this and I'm afraid because all my breakdowns do is ultimately push people further away reinforcing the cycle. the more im like this obviously she wouldn't want anything to do with me im just ruining everything and I'm gonna end up all alone and part of me thinks thats better because then i can kill myself but at the same time i know im so scared to and that if i dont ill just be completely alone while i rot.

i dont know what to do anymore i dont even really know why im posting this i guess im getting to a breaking point i just cant handle it anymore i hate feeling this way I hate feeling so alone i want to just feel like im not invisible and like i dont matter it says i need a picture so I attached a picture of my rabbit buster. i wish he was here

The Toronto met uni has a student pro Israel organization that hosted IDF soldiers in a school sanctioned private event. Protestors naturally protested by forcing their way into an event and one person broke a glass door. Here's a video from it all attached to the post.

This was after the Idf soldier already trapped a few students inside with them and after the soldier had enough he grabbed Canadians and dragged them across the floor while their bodies hit against hardwood furniture and threw them through broken glass when those protestors had been entirely peaceful too.

The cops did not charge the IDF soldier Jonathan Karten but found it in them to arrest 5 different protestors after throwing them to the ground in the subway quite awhile later. A completely violent response in defense of a literal war criminal who treated female students like ragdolls and dragged them around before throwing them through broken glass. This is an extremely disturbing scene and seeing this play out while the school supports the soldier is deeply unsettling.

if you want to make any sort of statement toward the school about distaste with the matter global@torontomu.ca seems to be their most clearly documented email address. I have written them an email and you can use my premade email with this mailto link, and you can add anything you'd like or remove anything and sign your name if you'd like. You may need to copy the link itself since lemmy is being a bit weird about it since it has spaces between paragraphs.

mailto:global@torontomu.ca?subject=Disgusting%20Response%20to%20Violent%20IDF%20Soldier&body=I%20am%20a%20concerned%20Canadian%20extremely%20disturbed%20by%20the%20Toronto%20Metropolitan%20University's%20(TMU)%20response%20to%20the%20event%20organized%20in%20support%20of%20the%20Israel%20Defense%20Force%20(IDF).%0A%0AThe%20IDF%20has%20been%20implicated%20in%20so%20many%20war%20crimes%20that%20I%20cannot%20even%20begin%20to%20list%20more%20than%20a%20few%20before%20the%20email%20begins%20to%20drag%20on%2C%20but%20I%20still%20will.%20Systemic%20rape%20of%20prisoners%2C%20use%20of%20internationally%20illegal%20chemical%20weapons%20ON%20CHILDREN%2C%20ethnic%20cleansing%2C%20use%20of%20starvation%20as%20a%20tool%20of%20war%2C%20and%20thats%20just%20to%20name%20a%20few.%20%0A%0AOne%20such%20war%20criminal%2C%20part%20of%20an%20organization%20that%20literally%20killed%20Canadians%20in%20the%20past%2C%20was%20allowed%20to%20go%20on%20a%20tour%20about%20victimizing%20themselves%20and%20spreading%20false%20narratives%20about%20their%20victims%2C%20all%20in%20connection%20to%20a%20group%20sanctioned%20and%20supported%20by%20the%20TMU.%0A%0A%20How%20can%20this%20possibly%20be%20allowed%20to%20occur%2C%20and%20how%20can%20the%20school%20possibly%20support%20the%20war%20criminal%20over%20protestors%20and%20rioters%20who%20felt%20they%20needed%20to%20stand%20up%20against%20this%20injustice%20completely%20allowed%20by%20the%20school.%20The%20school%20forced%20protestors%20hands%20by%20refusing%20to%20stand%20for%20its%20obligations%20to%20students%20and%20the%20international%20community%2C%20and%20whilst%20protestors%20damaged%20property%2C%20an%20active%20war%20criminal%20dragged%20students%20that%20the%20criminal%20locked%20in%20the%20room%20by%20their%20arms%20as%20their%20bodies%20hit%20hardwood%20furniture%20before%20they%20were%20thrown%20to%20the%20ground%20through%20broken%20glass.%0A%0A%20This%20is%20clear%20assault%20and%20instead%20of%20standing%20with%20the%20victims%20the%20school%20chooses%20to%20stand%20with%20war%20criminals%3F%20Is%20this%20how%20the%20school%20would%20have%20responded%20to%20german%20nazis%20creating%20a%20meeting%20off%20campus%20with%20nazi%20war%20criminals%3F%20such%20a%20thing%20happened%20in%20the%20government%20recently%20and%20it%20faced%20similar%20backlash%20to%20here.%20But%20I%20am%20not%20so%20sure%20the%20university%20shares%20the%20same%20values%20as%20the%20Canadian%20people%2C%20maybe%20they%20align%20more%20with%20the%20terrorists%20they%20allow%20to%20speak%2C%20that%20is%20all%20anyone%20could%20assume%20by%20the%20lax%20response%20of%20the%20admin%20at%20least.%0A%0APlease%20course-correct%20on%20this%20disturbing%20response%20and%20show%20support%20and%20understanding%20for%20the%20students%20let%20down%20by%20this%20disgusting%20support%20of%20war%20criminals%2C%20allowing%20them%20to%20use%20school%20systems%20as%20a%20means%20of%20advertisement%20and%20promotion.