this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2024
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Programming
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I propose a new paradigm:
Objectional programming
Functions don't return
Everything must be done by side effects
Global state mutation is inheritance
Every call is non blocking and spawns a new thread
???
Profit
Functions don't return... equals goto. Everything must be done by side effects... all variables are global. Global state mutation is inheritance... no grok. Every call is non-blocking and spawns a new thread... atomic bomb for junior software engineers.
??? ... shorting the stock of the company that adopts this.
Profit!
Screw that I'm going to invest... how do you think Elon Musk got so rich? He did it with sloppy engineering.
To get a first mover advantage, you have to be first. You don't get there by being a perfectionist.