this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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I have a 16-year-old son. I'm in my early 30s (had him very young) and a professional footballer. My son also dreams of becoming a successful footballer (he's been playing since he was 6), but he's just... not great. He's good, but not great - and in this extremely competitive industry you need to be at least great in order to even stand a chance. So I told him, as someone who's been doing this for a very, very long time & is active in this sphere, that he should find another, more attainable dream. He took it as me not believing in him, but I'm just objective and realistic.

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[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Perhaps not necessarily wrong, but people sometimes don't like hearing the truth. I don't agree with the other comments that you should support him - to me, that sounds like bad parenting to not at minimum set up a backup plan when things start to fall apart.

My take on this situation is that you may have to tell him in a more subtle manner. Fortunately, professional athletes are known for being notoriously competitive, where even talented people can lose out on an opportunity simply out of bad luck. This could give you a way to voice your concerns in a way that doesn't directly imply that he's not cut out for the job, ie "you still need to be very lucky to go pro. I was very fortunate, but we shouldn't be counting on luck for your living. You can still try for it, but I really think you should also have some backup options if things don't work out"

[–] RaptorBenn@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Being objective and realistic = Not believing in him Why can't you be objective and realistic about your childs feelings, obviously, even if you are right and he's no good (which I doubt if you are saying it), you could have just made the statistical argument, "Son, while football is your dream, the chances of being sustained by it are small and you need a reliable way to survive in the world." Anything other than telling him YOU dont think HE can do it, and if you can't accept that, then you need to put aside your ego and seek professional expertise.

[–] RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

You have make the call about your opinion of his talent. We can’t know.

If you are looking to ascribe a pejorative term to your behavior the consider this.

If you are wrong you may a dumbass, but since you are doing your best to help the kid, you are certainly not a jerk.

[–] roserose56@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

You are not a jerk IMO! But I believe you should have done it somehow different, like tell him to try other things in case football career does not work out for him, or to always think about another career.
and of course what others already said.

[–] MITM0@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yes you are, let him try & fail. You should be there to cushion the blow & give him full points for trying.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 0 points 1 week ago

Tell him he can go pro if he wins against some pros

[–] Professorozone@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago

Better than lying and feeding him a line of BS that he can be president or an astronaut or something when the likelihood is so low. Tell him he would make a great accountant. Is he good at math. LOL.

[–] FourWaveforms@lemm.ee -1 points 1 week ago

You're doing him a favor. Even if he was just as good as you, he wouldn't be guaranteed to have as much luck as you did. Might never be seen by the right people at the right time. He needs a realistic career plan regardless of whether he tries to make it professionally.

Yes, you're gatekeeping his dream

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