Introducing my newborn son "This is baby Ham Dyson"
this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2026
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I still say Randolph Mantooth is the most masculine name.
Drano Battery is good enough.
BLAST HARDCHEESE!
Buff Drinklots
Slab Squatthrust
Stump Chunkman
Big McLarge Huge
Bob Johnson
When I was learning Python, I coded a Space Mutiny Name Generator. Here, let me run a few:
Hack Slugmeal
Brick Vanderchest
Rip Fistnozzle
Stan Beefhead
Hack Squatchest
Beat Manknob
Hunk Hardhandle
Hack Hardnugget
Wedge Rockmeat
Beat Bonehat
Slam Headnugget
Stan Toughnozzle
Hack McLargebody
Hack Bulkcheese
Big Grindhuge
Dirk Squatpound
Crud Steaknugget
Hunk Rockface
Slam Fisthandle
Big Hardback
Chunk Slamface
Rip Manthrust
Beat Headmeat
^CAAAAAAAAAAH! gets out calmly
Pete Nutall
Rod Hardson
Jim Dick
Dick Batter
Greg 'Stiffy' Hunt
Big McLargehuge might be my favorite.
He has an account here on Lemmy somewhere.
I am Bus, and this is my son, Bussy.
GROND!
BORT will always be a classic.
Glute
"My name is Gluteous Maximus, commander of the Asses of the North, General of the Sphincter Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Marcus Analius."
Asses of the North
You mean the right wing demagogues on the ascendancy in Nordic countries including my native Denmark?
"He has a wife, you know..."
Glute Honk
Or, as I call it, sexual harassment
Or battery, perchance?
Urethra Franklin
Beer
Fight
Truck
Boulder
Gun
These are Dave Ryder adjacent.
-
Blast Crunchmeat
-
Squat Hardthrust
-
Beef Bulkhead
etc
Rubella is very popular in 2026.
H A M
B A T T E R Y
Is that something used to power a ham? Or a battery made of pork?
Or is it a crime against pigs?
Ham batteries or for ham radios.
Well, eating ham gives us energy, so logically they are batteries made of pork.
Yes.
correct ~~horse~~ ham battery staple
I don't know why, but honk really got me good.
Nice to meet you, my name is Honk Ifyoulovejesus
At least it's not Honk Ifyourhorny
Basically the same if you're horny for Jesus
Ham is actually a veritable biblical name (as in Ham, Shem and Japhet), and was more common in puritanical times. A chimpanzee sent into space by NASA was named Ham, probably after the scriptural figure rather than importentiously the meat.
Bad portents to name science monkey after lunch meat?!?!
Hoof
S'Phyllis
Fallopia
Fellaggio
G'Noriah
Ovaria
Horné
Horné wins.
This is extremely funny to me bc I did go to school with someone named Dyson. I honestly have no idea why but we all called him Mateo.
Because Dyson sucks?
There's that guy who was in There Will Be Blood wasn't there?
Paul Drano
sleve mcdichael sounding ass
Dranon Dyson sounds like a weirdly cool fantasy/scifi name
Glute is an awesome name
Gonad Bloke does not sound like a nickname you want.