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this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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I rarely get angry at anyone, which, sadly, means I didn't gain the skills to deal with it very well. Thus, if someone DOES make me angry, it can linger for YEARS. The record so far is some 50 years with my parents' abuse, followed by a few friends' betrayal as a teen (separate incidents). I have about half a dozen incidents where I have been seriously fucked over by people I trusted, and hate my continued anger over it more than I hate the event itself.
I found, however, patience has its own reward. If you're the type of person who really fucks me over, and it's definitely not my fault, eventually your behavior will fuck yourself in other ways. I don't "get revenge" like some cartoon, but years later, I'll find out, "Yeah, that asshole? After her did that thing to you that took you years to get over, his super-special kid went to jail, his wife left him, his business tanked, and last anyone heard, he's living with him mom (whom he despised) in his 50s with zero prospects for his future." If you fucked me over, but it's partially or wholly my fault, then, well, I deserved it. Sometimes I make mistakes, like screw someone's lie over by revealing a secret I didn't know was a secret. I try super super super hard not to do that, even if I hate their guts, or the lie needs to be told for some esoteric moral bullshit (like cheating on his wife I didn't know he had). But I try to keep my nose clean. I try not to gossip when I can help it. This also helps to know "I did my best, given what I knew."
Dude. If someone needs you to keep track of their lies so they don't get caught out, they're no friend. They're putting you in a terrible spot for no reason.
If you need to lie, then tell me the lie. Even if you're a bad liar, never ever tell me any story different so at best I can suspect you're a dick not not know it. And I'll never know a different story to tell. And if you need like an alibi and I already know differently, then get someone else to alibi you.
Lying TO me is a dick move, sure; but making me carry your lie for you is worse.
Agreed. For me in most cases it's a relationship-ending offense.