this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2024
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I didn't mean to minimize anything, and I'm sorry if it came out that way.
I understand and acknowledge that some people, for one reason or another, are suffering from loneliness.
But I also acknowledge that the opposite has happened to others. They are too overwhelmed by the constant interactions they have, either digitally or face-to-face, and want to distance themselves from these interactions, but often can't.
Both loneliness and the inability to detach from constant interactions are both quite bad for mental health. It's not a competition; people from opposite ends of the spectrum are suffering.
I'm not sure how else I'm supposed to explain this to you other than this.
This isn't about you. This is about people who are upset and depressed and need help because of loneliness. You clearly are not part of that group as you keep saying. You claim that you are not here to minimize but here you are, doubling down, and minimizing the suffering that lonely people are going through. Not people who are alone. People who are lonely. Not people who are enjoying solitude. People who are lonely. Not people who are dealing with being overwhelmed. People who are lonely.
To put it in another form, you're effectively walking into an eating disorder clinic and saying "Yeah, this place might be needed for some but I mean for a lot of us it's an outlet." Do you get it now?
I didn't realize that it was. I never said that it was.
Yes, I understand that completely.
No, I haven't, and it's strange to think that anyone would get that from what I wrote.
I was merely acknowledging that there are two extremes to this mental struggle: loneliness, and people who are overwhelmed by having too much contact. Neither is worse off than the other, neither is suffering more than the other, mental illness isn't a competition, anyone who is suffering needs their own form of self-care and attention.
Without wanting to offend anyone else, that's all I have to say.
And that's the problem. While those two extremes do exist, this post is not about people overwhelmed by having too much contact, it's about literally the exact opposite. OP made this post looking for support and validation of the loneliness they feel, and your first response was essentially "Yeah that's sucks for you, but I and many other people desperately crave the thing you suffer from". You're not wrong, the issue of people feeling overwhelmed is an equally valid issue, but there's a time and place to bring it up, and this post wasn't it.
My piece of advice is if someone presents an issue to you(or in this case, lemmy at large) and is looking for support or advice on the issue from you, avoid contrasting their issue against other issues at all costs. No matter how well intentioned you are(and I DO believe you were well intentioned, fwiw), at BEST it will come across as "that sucks but others have it worse" and at worst it can come across as "that's not an issue most people have, so thinking it's an issue means you are the problem".
This makes sense, and I appreciate you taking the time to write it. I will be more mindful in the future. 👍