Asklemmy

43890 readers

1299 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

Women of Lemmy, how to pleasure someone that does not enjoy any clitoris stimulation? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by MTK@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

NSFW 73 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Well, as the title says, I'm facing an issue that I'm not sure how to improve.

My partner does not enjoy any sort of clitoris stimulation, I tried everything from rough to gentle, from fingers to tongue, with lube and without. It seems that she truly does not enjoy it in anyway.

She does enjoy penetration very much and I put all of my efforts there, but I feel like I can't get her to an orgasm/higher pleasure and while she is satisfied right now I fear that over time she wont be.

So my question is what else can I do? There are some other pleasure areas that we use such as ears, emotional connection, fantasies, dirty talk, etc.

Maybe something I haven't tried on the clitoris? Maybe something else that can take it to the next level? Maybe something that she can do? Maybe just accept that this is okay? Again, she does enjoy herself a lot and is completely satisfied as far as I know, but as I'm her first I think that she is missing out on a level of pleasure that I can't figure how to help her achieve without the clitoris.

ETA: she does not masturbate, so no guidance or hidden methods on her part.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Talk to your partner about it

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I did, she doesn't have the experience to know what do to and she isn't against me looking into it, but she is okay as things are right now.

[–] OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If she is okay with things you should leave it alone, lest you put pressure on her to orgasm which is like, one of the least sexy things I can think of.

You can enjoy sex without orgasming. Sometimes my partner or I will opt for strap sex even though it is harder for both of us to orgasm because it feels nice/scratches a different itch. If she wanted to orgasm during sex she'd probably start masturbating to make it easier to do.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Of course I would not pressure her, I'm just looking to see if there is something that I didn't think of