this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
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The above is oversimplified and written to elicite a chuckle but most people aren't that comfortable with having another human being (I don't discriminate; just aiming for the most probable scenario) their significant other used to pork on a more or less distant past staying around. Most will have doubts about their relationship and its heading. Or even worst.
Monkey brain and pride computes around "If they porked in the past, did they stop completely or is it a come and go situation?" Humans are strange creatures.
So you don't trust your partner then? I've had ex's that I remained friends with and they had ex's that they remained friends with. As long as no one's an asshole about it it's fine. The fact that you used to sleep with someone doesn't always mean you're just waiting for an opportunity to jump on them again.
I trust the person I'm with and I've met the person dating them before me. I didn't felt threatened or insecure; I see myself as a passing shadow through other peoples lives, which is quite liberating. If I manage to gain a prolongued stay, as I have, good, if not, good as well.
So then what's there to be uncomfortable about with them remaining friends with an ex?
For me, personally, nothing. For most, apparently, a lot.