I thought folks here would appreciate this story. In the 1980s, my dad worked for COMEX as a deep sea diver on oil rigs in the North Sea and the Gulf of Mexico. They were issued Rolex watches made specifically for COMEX, which divers then had the option to buy at a reduced price. My dad ended up buying the one he had used when diving. I can't remember what he paid for it exactly but something ridiculously low like $100-200. He wore this watch every day for 25+ years and only realized how prized and expensive they had become when watch connoisseurs started randomly making offers to buy it. He said one time somebody at work interrupted a big meeting because he caught a glance of his watch and made him an offer in front of everyone. My dad absolutely detests that kind of attention and did not like owning something that expensive (let alone wearing it), so he eventually sold it.
Ahh wonderful… this story is reminiscent of one of my own, which I now recount for your edification.
The year was 2017. I remember so distinctly because I had a celebrity crush on Tilda Swinton and she was at peak sexiness. The way her cool eyes seemed to peer into your soul and undress you, leaving your body completely adrift in her desire still brings me to my knees.
Anyway, I was just about to begin my third session of hypnotic goat yoga, which interestingly took place on a platform in the watery streets of Venice. The smell of urine was barely detectable, and once the hypnosis kicks in you’re not really there so it doesn’t matter. Only this time, I was oddly enraptured by the wrist of another fellow (let’s call him Gustavo) in the class. Low and behold: a Comex. As the facilitator released the goats and began the hypnosis, I could think of nothing else except this fellows watch. The way Gustavo’s wrist hairs encircled the leather band (a Bund strap, actually) and framed the dial was miraculous.
As the class around me was entranced, the goats began their ritual of climbing up on top of everyone’s backs. Some of the female goats were in heat, and I’m surprised that their bleating didn’t break the hypnosis of the participants. As the goats began to fornicate, I perfectly mimicked the voice of the hypnotizer and instructed Gustavo to remove his watch. He did so, but before I could tell him to hand it to me he cast it to the water below. I dove in after it and retrieved it immediately. As I surfaced and put it on, a mermaid that looked exactly like Tilda Swinton approached me and offered me $4m USD for the watch.
Naturally, I accepted.
Plot twist: Gustavo was actually Tilda Swinton in character. So were the goats. And the hypnotist. And you! You don't know it, but you are in fact a character played by Tilda Swinton.