this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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So, how should people find mates? Obviously these stupid apps don't work and the chance encounter system we use in western societies don't, and neither do the marriage-as-transaction systems societies used centuries ago, or the subjugation of any one gender. So how should we ensure most people who want a mate get one?
First thing to do is to not use neckbeardy scientific language like 'find a mate'. It makes me think of the way ferengi say 'Female'. It comes off as very creepy and lecherous.
Go do things you enjoy doing. Find local groups or hobby/card/game shops with events. Get to know people. Become a known person. And be yourself. Pretending to be anything or anyone you aren't will always backfire in a real relationship.
The big thing is to never go out with the goal of hooking up or finding someone. It adds an extra layer of weirdness if you do meet someone, and a massive extra disappointment every time you don't. Just be friendly and casual. Things will fall into place.
I'm not the one who needs help finding a partner. Everyone else does, and despite your emotional language you all have failed so hard at it it has harmed you as a people, so who is the one who needs to re-examine their language use exactly? Not me. I see animals cry and want to help them, and when I speak of animals, I use technical terms. And you all very much are animals.
Your society as a whole needs to have this talk with itself and that's why I ask. Would a matchmaker program help you? Or will you get offended at being called an animal as if I am not one too and openly say as much, a lot?
I am not asking to be a dick. I am an aromantic asexual and I see the lot of you that are not as hurting because you all can't find partners, so stop getting offended at me and let me help you.
People tend to accept help quicker when it's offered in a way that isn't so cold and calculating. Going into a Mengele-esq diatribe about "animals" isn't doing you any favors.
Well then, let me tell you what people like you told me when I voiced similar complaints as a young'un: not everyone in this world is going to be nice to you.
You're the ones who are gonna suffer for not listening, not me. 🤷