this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024

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No Stupid Questions

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144

how do I accept I'll never know why any employer rejected me? (programming.dev)

submitted 6 days ago by dennis5wheel@programming.dev to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.world

86 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm finding the hard way that finding another job is a grind: you invest time reading what they want to hire, you write a CV and an application.

Most of the time you don't get an answer, meaning you are that irrelevant to them. Most of these times it is YOU the one who has to ask if they decided for or against. On the limited times they write you back, it's a computed generated BS polite rejection letter.

I asked one of them how many candidates they considered and why they rejected me, but that only made them send me another computer generated letter.

I'd like to know how close I was and in what ways I can become a more interesting candidate, but nobody is going to give me a realistic answer.

It sucks having to need them more than they need you. And I should consider me lucky, because I have a job, but jesus christ, I feel for those who have to do this without stable income or a family that offers them a place to stay...

(page 2) 36 comments

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[–] Blizzard@lemmy.zip 5 points 6 days ago

You should send them one of those annoying feedback surveys.

1. On a scale from 1 to 10, how do you rate the overall quality of my application?

2. How well did my qualifications match the requirements for the position?

Very well matched

Somewhat matched

Not well matched

3. On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate the clarity of my resume/CV?

4. Was there any specific skill or experience you felt was missing from my application?

Yes (please specify)

5. On a scale from 1 to 10, how effectively did my cover letter convey my interest in the position?

6. Were there any areas in which my application could have been improved? (e.g., resume formatting, better alignment with job requirements, etc.)

7. On a scale from 1 to 10, how well did I communicate my strengths during any interviews or communications?

8. Would you consider my application for future opportunities within your organization?

Yes

Maybe, depending on the role

9. On a scale from 1 to 10, how likely are you to recommend me to another employer?

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Employment is like dating, there are frequently things that happen outside of the process that impact the process and there are often reasons to avoid direct rejection even if the reasons are different.

Jobs might be posted and then the position itself is made redundant during the interviews, so they are no longer hiring. Or they liked your interview, but want to offer you something else and have to do the HR circus to make that offer happen and the whole thing falls through. Or during the interviews they decide they want to change the position into something else. Orbthey are incompetent and HR forgot to follow up on the job offer. I have seen all of these happen!

Then there is the all too common scenario of finding out the candidate is a woman or a minority and sone jerk killing the process. Can't admit that so they ghost. They might have a valid reason not to hire, but don't want to be sued for giving a reason. They might also have posted the thing to meet a requirement although they know who they were going to hire from the start. I have seen all of those as well.

Or they don't want to tell a candidate they didn't meet the position for fear of violence. This is likely being over cautious and not specific to the applicant!

Or the applicant reminded an interviewer of someone they don't like.

These often line up with dating because they are all things that have no real specific explanation that can be given as what the csndidate can even do to change. Knowing they are possible won't really impact how the interview/dating should go in the future either, because they are all external to the interview or dating process.

So the best way is to come to terms with the fact that there is likely to be someone who is a better fit, or the position wasn't really stable, or you didn't want to work or date them anyway if they didn't follow up.

[–] NoIWontPickAName@kbin.earth 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Shit man, you forgot someone else was just better suited for the job.

Even though you might be 97% perfect for the job, if they find 98% you’re done and it’s not your fault. Hell you were an excellent candidate for the job and just got unlucky enough to happen to be in the same pool as them.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The final decision on who to hire never comes down to who is the 'most qualified'. There will almost always be multiple people who are qualified and the tiebreaker is interpersonal stuff like a matching sense of humor, attractiveness, and not reminding the interviewer of someone they don't like.

Someone might be told it is based on the most qualified, but working well with others is part of a job and not in the written qualifications. It is also a subjective determination and varies wildly depending on the job and who is interviewing.

[–] NoIWontPickAName@kbin.earth 2 points 6 days ago

I said nothing about qualified.

I said better suited and gave percentages of perfect for the job.

Perfect for the job included everything, social interactions, qualifications, hair style, maybe holding the door for one of the people on the panel yesterday at the doctor.

[–] Alsjemenou@lemy.nl 3 points 5 days ago

Oh God it was such an onslaught on my self image and psychology. I believe humans aren't equipped to handle the amount of rejection you have to receive during that grind. I certainly wasn't.

[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 1 points 4 days ago

how do I accept I'll never know why any employer rejected me?

Ask yourself if it was ever a real job offer to begin with. Did you have the required skills? Were your pay requirements reasonable? (For YOU not them). Then you did fine.

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 1 points 4 days ago

try a DBT program xd

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 4 points 6 days ago

I had applied for a job in a busy area a long time ago. I followed up a week later, nothing. I called a few days later. Nothing. I went to the office in person and *spoke to the receptionist, who was pre-screening resumes. She picked up a box the size of a case of paper, and showed me another, half full. The full one were resumes she'd not looked at yet; the half full was what she had.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 4 points 6 days ago

Send out so many applications and keep busy, so that every response is a surprise. Only after a response can you set a reminder to reach out after a week. After a reminder, send a message and do not set a reminder. Keep applying to other jobs.

I just lose track of jobs I applied to in my head. If they aren't responding, they don't care and neither should you.

[–] theywilleatthestars@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

I mean what else can you do?

[–] Toes@ani.social 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Something I picked up over the years. The reasons are potentially personal or emotional.

Skills, experience and education are important.

But they are also concerned with cohesion.

"Is this someone I can have a beer with and have a good time"

"Will this person enjoy the company of the staff under my charge"

"That guy drove in with a insert political message on their bumper sticker. :/"

"Gross they used random font"

"We got too many Marks at this company"

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Reminds me of one team I was on that had Karthic, Karthik, and Karthick. THEY JUST KEPT HIRING THEM.

[–] Toes@ani.social 3 points 6 days ago

HR is playing pokemon trying to catch em all

[–] ogler@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 6 days ago

the good news is it's very easy to get some practice

[–] RedditWanderer@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Shiit so many comments here.

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment

[–] BearOfaTime@lemm.ee 1 points 6 days ago

The same way you get over not knowing just about anything else.

Let it go.

Does it serve you in any way to continue to be bothered by not knowing?

You are irrelevant to them. Just like I'm irrelevant to you. That's life.

[–] 843247@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 5 days ago

If you are based in Europe you could always try a GDPR subject access request to see the notes they've taken. Not sure if you can try something like that wherever you are though!

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