No Stupid Questions

Did you go straight into being a pro footballer? Or did you have back up plans? Like "if this doesn't work out, I'll be an electrician" or something?

I've never had super lofty goals, but my parents always supported me in what I wanted to do. They never tried to steer me, but they did ask pertinent questions about what I was planning at various points. Probably to hint at bad idea.
I feel like I could have asked them for money/support at any point for any of my projects/ideas/whatevers, and - after making sure I was serious - would have helped out however they could.
I have a very unique career at this point, and I am only in this position because of the eclectic experience I have. And it is completely unrelated to my dreams as a kid or what I studied at university.

Ultimately, he is growing up. He's going to have to make mistakes.
I'd say you have to be prepared to support him as much as you can in his dream of being a pro footballer.
Maybe he won't be a pro footballer, but he might get a satisfying career out of being football-adjacent. Medic, science, coaching.
Or maybe he will try it for 5 years and eventually realise it's not gonna happen, and be an electrician.
Or maybe he will struggle for 2 years, realise he needs to double down, and make the cut a year later.

I had a friend when I was growing up that dreamed of being an RAF pilot. Everything he did was around that.
Due to some unfortunate life circumstances, that dream was ripped away in the space of a week. Completely out of anyone's control, but he could no longer qualify as an RAF pilot.
He was heartbroken. He's now an engineer/mechanic in the RAF and loves tinkering with cars.

He shouldn't find another dream.
But he should be aware that dreams don't always come about. And if this dream doesn't, would he be happy in an adjacent career? Or something else entirely?
Help him research the backup plan.

I wouldn't say "jerk", but maybe a little insensitive to supporting his dreams. The hard part about being a parent is that your kid needs to fail sometimes, and your protesting to the failing will only create a divide between you two. Offering advice once is totally fine, but continuing will make the situation worse. He will likely fail pursuing his dream, and reality will hit him hard afterwards, but that's ok. Just make sure he has your support, and he knows you love him.

It doesn't matter that you've learned this life lesson already. He hasn't. Sometimes, you have to learn the hard way for it to stick.

IMO, maybe a jerk, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I think more people need to hear news they don't want to hear from someone they trust.

What I've told most teens looking at the future post high school is, have more then one career/life goal. When I was in middle school, I thought I wanted to be a professional chef. Only to discover I like cooking. I love cooking for friends/family... I loathed the toxic "professional" setting (especially thanks to Gordan Ramsey, who 20 years ago glamorized being a right jackass in the kitchen, pretending that was acceptable). Now I've worked in IT for nearly 2 decades and what I've done in my field has changed a lot.

I think lying to him and saying, "You can be anything, you can do anything, you're amazing!!!!" type of parenting is going to lead to problems if/when the plan doesn't work out and they have no fallback. Personally, coddling your kid and lying to them just because it's a short-term positive emotion (or you're afraid of saying the truth), IMO is bad parenting. You're not there to make sure they get the "right feels" or to be their best friend. You prepare them for the real world. Final note: you hear a lot of professional sports players say "I had a deal with my parents that if didn't work out, I'd do ."

The kid is growing up in a World on fire. People his age are screwed.

Let him do what he wants & just support him.

Roy Kent here.

I don’t think it needs to be said. He will figure it out on his own that he isn’t good enough to make it.

He will either find the drive to make the success or determine it isn’t worth it, or that it isn’t obtainable. That is just part of growing up and getting older. It’s a life experience in itself.

But to put it to bluntly at such a young age just isn’t necessary. It’s kind of dickish if you ask me. Ultimately he’s enjoying himself and having fun. Organically he will get over it and grow up. No need to do it for him and spoil the fun.

I don't think you're a jerk. Your son is 16, more than old enough to handle it. The fact of the matter is that, in professional sports, most young boys are scouted by the time they're his age; if it hasn't happened yet, it probably won't.

He needs to start planning for a more realistic future, but he's allowed to think you're being too hard on him. You don't have to be responsible for his mistakes if he chooses to make them, you already did your job by telling him to think more realistically.

Do you think he might be good enough for a foreign league if he works his ass off? Not every basketball player is good enough for the NBA, but a lot are good enough to play in China or Europe, for example. Maybe, if this career is what he really wants, it would help your relationship if you gave him some pointers about playing in a league he might be more competitive in.

That said, you could also try to see if he might enjoy sports medicine or some other adjacent career, like training. Surely you know what might be a good fit for him outside of being a player, considering your experience. Giving him other options that still allow him to be close to the sport might be a nice way to show him that you still think he can be involved in professional sports in some capacity.

Don't tell him that he can't do something. Let him figure it out on his own.

You have make the call about your opinion of his talent. We can’t know.

If you are looking to ascribe a pejorative term to your behavior the consider this.

If you are wrong you may a dumbass, but since you are doing your best to help the kid, you are certainly not a jerk.

Is it possible to be a pro footballer without being mega famous? How did a footballer end up on lemmy?

If your asking, you probably already know the answer.

Maybe you could have said something like "A top player needs to know math, because they've got to do a lot of investing. they should have otehr languages, because they'll be playing all over the world. Science and computers because..."

Being objective and realistic = Not believing in him Why can't you be objective and realistic about your childs feelings, obviously, even if you are right and he's no good (which I doubt if you are saying it), you could have just made the statistical argument, "Son, while football is your dream, the chances of being sustained by it are small and you need a reliable way to survive in the world." Anything other than telling him YOU dont think HE can do it, and if you can't accept that, then you need to put aside your ego and seek professional expertise.

Let him try to aim for it..... As long as he doesn't neglect his education and other opportunities then there's no harm in giving him some years to figure this out himself the hard way.

You should support your kid, even if you're not convinced of his chances of making it. Anything else is just going to permanently damage your relationship. The best you can do is make sure he has a plan B. If he's good in school he's well on his way to that, so not much to worry about.