this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
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Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.


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When I first joined this community I saw it as a respite from reddit where I was free to chill with people without being constantly expected to debate or defend arguments or anything. Just a forum where people are nice.

Lately though it seems every active comment section is filled to the brim with, to be frank, obnoxious people who want nothing more than to fight with you about everything you say. I think they're known as "debate bros."

I'm not saying debate shouldn't be happening but to be honest it's disappointing seeing it be the only thing occurring. I've tried contributing in other fashions but have been met multiple times with people trying to start arguments with me about things or get me to defend "points" that I didn't make. This in particular has been very annoying. I've reported every instance of this due to it not contributing but I feel as if that's not helping.

I like talking to people I disagree with. I like conversing with differing opinions. But I feel alone in that this isn't the only thing I want to do on a forum.

Again, I'm not trying to definitively say we shouldn't debate at all, but just pointing out how prevalent it seems to be. Id like to just converse with people without being expected to make and defend points. I feel like that's a major thing we should've left on Reddit.

If people want to debate then they can do that. I just dislike that it appears to become the base-level expectation for the instance.

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[–] TehPers@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I think part of this also stems from there being a lot of strong takes on certain subjects that appear in comments. Thinking of just the past few posts I've been through, I've seen statements (which i'm intentionally paraphrasing here, just using them as examples) like "all information should be free", " is better than fad languages and all opinions to the contrary are completely unbacked" (different instance to be fair), "X service should be provided for free by Y private company", etc. That's not to say that any of these takes (except the language one, in my opinion) were intentionally inviting people to debate them, but making strong claims like these does invite debate.

That being said, I think the purpose of a lot of posts is to invite discussion, and within those discussions I've often seen people agreeing with each other. From my experience, it tends to be more of an outlier when there are argumentative posts being made, but I think it stands out a bit more as well.

Also, I think that how the opposing view is presented is important. For example, I'd rather see a response that opposes an initial view to provide more discussion around the matter than "no you're wrong and a bad person"-style responses. Generally speaking, I've seen more discussion-oriented replies, but occasionally I do see the latter-style response as well, and even saw one (which I'm not pointing to) in the discussion for this post.

Edit: I should also clarify that first paragraph. Opinions to the contrary of what I listed can also be strong takes. Generally any opinion in which there is a significant population of people that disagree with it can invite discussion. The discussion itself isn't the issue in my opinion, what is the issue is how that discussion is held.

[–] ALostInquirer@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

I wonder how much of this may relate to some folks not really knowing how else to try to interact online...? Maybe even offline as well?

Some seem primed to take any opportunity to argue, and for them I don't think it registers negatively so much as simply how one discusses stuff. A sort of playfighting if you will, worrisome & exhausting if you're not interested, but a joy (up to a point) to those that are.

[–] willya@lemmyf.uk 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

If you post something you should expect a reply, and you definitely should not expect it to be a yes, man type reply. It would also depend on what you’re commenting on. All in all it’s to be expected as things grow. Sounds like what you would like to have is in all of the communities that have been defederated from the major instances. A hive mind type experience.

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[–] wildeaboutoskar@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

Can't say I've noticed it on Beehaw but I have on some other instances. Just posted in one actually - was an interesting discussion on the nature of violence in media. One person immediately lashed out at the person and I'm struggling to see why as they were being civil and were just exploring ideas.

I think it's a wider thing than Lemmy or even the internet. It feels like some kind of way of getting control over something for people who lack any control in other aspects of their lives. They can have it if they're 'right' even if they have to attack people for it.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@beehaw.org 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've felt that lemmy.world has. It feels much more like vintage Reddit.

Beehaw I haven't experienced quite as much of the arguing for arguing's sake. If someone's arguing with me, they're usually doing so in good faith.

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