this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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I tried making a Reddit account and it asked me to build karma before I could ask on any of the relevant subs so I'm posting here.

I can personally say that if anything goes up there, it hurts, and not in a good way. It does not feel pleasurable at all. It feels kind of like placing a finger on an open sore and pushing down.

Also, if you're being examined, they tell you to take deep breaths, as if they know that anything going up is going to be painful. If sex is supposed to be pleasurable and enjoyable, why would doctors tell you to brace for impact, so to speak?

Lastly, women often scream during sex. It's often said they're screaming out of pleasure and not pain. But there are a lot of things I find extremely pleasurable, but I don't scream while I do them.

Is it just one of those things that is painful but we're conditioned into believing the pain is actually pleasure and I must have inconsistent pain tolerance and I am making a big deal out of this?

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[โ€“] oopsgodisdeadmybad@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I fucking get annoyed when I see it spelled "come".

It's just not the right word (I guess it technically can be used in the "to get there" sense, but that seems like really stretching it, especially given that it typically refers to ejaculation, not orgasm).

I don't know the origin of how "cum" came around, but to me it's always seemed like the world's most common typo that everyone is too busy to fix because they only have one hand to type and hold their phone.

Can we all just agree to spell it "cum" consistently?

[โ€“] mechoman444@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Doing some toilet-bowl Googling, I found that the word "come" has been used as a euphemism for orgasm or ejaculation since at least the 17th century. It wasn't until the latter part of the 20th century that the alternative spelling "cum" became common, specifically to remove the ambiguity between the sexual meaning and the ordinary verb come. So you were absolutely right to prefer the spelling "cum" for that reason. The spelling was then further popularized through the rise of pornography and erotic media in Western culture.