. . . He’s frantically screaming that if James Talarico wins in Texas, “I will be the last Republican president and our country will live in hell!” So that is dramatic.
Meanwhile, he has also been frantically screaming that the Republican midterm convention he’s throwing in Dallas next week [this week] is going to be “Historic Event” and “RALLY like none other!” and you know how his babbling goes. “GREAT AMERICAN COMEBACK!” “NO TAX ON TIPS!”
Sounds cool.
Except for how hardly any Republicans appear to be planning to attend, especially those with tough re-election fights, because Donald Trump adds zero (0) value to their re-election prospects, because he is approximately as popular these days as accidentally slamming your finger shut in a car door on your way to unanesthetized hemorrhoid surgery.
Reporters are running around Capitol Hill asking Republicans if they’re excited to go to Dallas this weekend for this veritable MAGA fuckfest — White House aides are calling it Trump-a-palooza, sad — and shit if they don’t all seem to have other plans that day.
For one thing, Republican lawmakers are supposed to pay $25,000 for the privilege of being in the same room as the human equivalent of a loose stool. Which is, what, a bribe? (And that’s the entry-level bribe, says Puck News.)
And then there’s, like, some football games next week and weekend?
And it’s almost 9/11?
And, like, nobody fucking cares about watching President Epstein McPuddingCup’s latest desperate ploy for a mandatory Dear Leader celebration?
Anyway, John Thune and Mike Johnson are going, because they probably have to, as congressional Republican leadership. Ted Cruz is going, because we guess all the flights to Cancun are overbooked, and besides, he’s not done saying “Please sir, may I have another?” to express his continued subservience to Trump, after Trump called his wife an Ugly from Fugly Town all those years ago.
Gross fraud-crimer Texas Republican Senate nominee Ken Paxton is going, because Dallas, and anything to try to save himself from losing to James Talarico. We’re sure Donald Trump will waddle his voluminous ass out of the way long enough to make it about Ken Paxton.
But a POLITICO survey of more than 70 GOP candidates and members revealed that most either do not plan to attend or are still weighing whether to go. Dozens more declined to share their plans.
Hahahahahahaha.
So that’s 70 “Nos” and one million “Let me touch base with you that days” and probably a bunch of day-of “OMW!” texts from Republican politicians/candidates who are definitely still at home on the couch masturbating to Death of the Pastor’s Wife on Netflix with no plans to get up.
Some of them have “fundraiser.” Some of them have “wedding.” Some have “9/11.” Some, like Susan Collins, are basically just like oh fuck off.
I wonder what rally like none other means. He does the same thing every time. Boo the media. Blame dDemocrats for the problems he created. Create a fictional reality of they "lose". Maybe throw in some incoherent rambling. I hope he has a stroke mid performance. Because that is what it is, a performance.