this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2023
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Tired of constantly having conversations like this:

"Where are you from?"

"USA"

"But where are you really from?/But whats your nationality?/Are you actually american?... like.. full american?"

American isnt a race! American =/= white. Yes im "full american" even though im ethnically latino! If you want to know my ethnicity/race then just ask me that instead of implying im not a "real" american.

I know most people asking this arent doing so from a place of malice, but damn does it get tiring after the 100th time.

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[–] JRLtheWriter@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (7 children)

If I may ask, where do you get these questions the most? I'm a Black American, have been living abroad for almost a decade now and traveling often the whole time. When people ask me where I'm from, I usually just tell them I'm from New York and that ends it there. Every once in a while someone asks me about my ethnicity or if I know where in Africa my ancestors come from. I usually just say that most African Americans travel their lineage back to West Africa but it's almost impossible to pinpoint a specific location. That usually ends that part of the conversation.

[–] JimJames1984@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yea, it usually happens if you are east asian looking , not if you're black.

[–] CanalBloody@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Agree, because most people view black people as "real americans" because of the longstanding history and media representation.

[–] JRLtheWriter@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Got it. That makes sense.

[–] lissybeau@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I slightly disagree. As Americans, WE definitely understand that black people have a longstanding history, however that understanding differs when it comes to cultures, like Europeans who have only had multi-cultural societies in the last 1 or 2 generations. I get "where are you really from" all the time as a black American living in Europe. But I just see it as them not understanding the deep history of American multi-culturalism.

Another different example is places like London or the UK, where it is multi-cultural, but people often identify as their ethnic background more, being Jamaican or Turkish or XYZ, while still being first or second generation.

American culture has a way of making everyone American. It's inclusive and immigrants eventually adopt American culture as their own. While some multi-cultural societies like the French, will only identify people who have been in the country for 100 years as truly French.

All this to say, you're right that it sucks when people say this to you. It's ignorance and I usually explain it quickly but don't engage more than it's worth.

[–] Sashohere@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

I will add an additional comment to the excellent observation above. I've noticed that people in other countries do not understand very well that it is possible to become a citizen of the US relatively easily (relative to other countries, that is) if you meet certain standards. Sure there are hoops to jump through, but it IS possible. And then you are a citizen, no holds barred. You can vote and own property and are only barred from becoming president. You ARE an American. And your children are American, no matter where they are born. More confounding to non-Americans is that if you are born on American soil, you are an American citizen, unless you choose not to be. Not so in any other country, that I'm aware of (please let me know if there are other countries in which this is also so). In other countries, you are the nationality of your parents no matter where you were born. It's difficult, if not impossible, to become a citizen in so many other places. [As an example, I usually think about the Turkish "guest worker" situation in Germany. Allowed to go live and work in Germany in the 1960s, it was assumed that the stays of Turkish people who were "helping out" would be short-term.They were not. If they had children while in Germany, those children were not and could not be German citizens, even though they grew up to speake colloquial German and subscribe to German cultural norms. And THEIR children were also not citizens. You can bet they have been asked ad nauseam, but where are you really FROM? As I understand it, there was no path to becoming a citizen for this group. And yet these descendents aren't truly Turkish. I think this is slowly being addressed, but is still controversial.] So non-Americans just short circuit because they can't conceive of a voluntarily inclusive (at least in theory) nation.

[–] whereisgirlfriday@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

This is a great way to handle it. You meet ignorance with education but in a way that doesn't leave room for further stupid questions.

[–] KinkThrown@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

I read this memoir by a guy who did a group bicycle tour around Cameroon and one of the guys in his group (all Americans) was black.

When the locals learned the black guy was American they were really confused. They didn't know that there were black people in America. They asked him what his tribe was and when he said he didn't have one it blew their minds. They asked how there were black people in America and he explained about the Atlantic slave trade and they had never heard of it. In the end they would refer to him using the same (mildly pejorative) word they used for whites.

These were country people they met in the sticks, not educated people, but I don't think it's that uncommon. I live in southeast Asia and have met people who've never heard of World War 2.

This is the book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1290572

[–] Abrocama@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

To most of the world, Americans are either white or black. The actual reality of the mixture of ethnicities is relatively unknown by the majority. That reaction doesn't surprise me at all.

[–] cic45654@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Perhaps that’s something of a special case, as if you’re black and say you’re from the US the “origin story” of that community is famous around the world (even though it doesn’t encompass everyone’s story) and people would usually not ask any more. Bit different if you’re Asian or south Asian or Arab etc and more so with a non American accent

[–] Connect_Access_9438@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

That's absolutely not true. The upvotes on this take are misinformed.

[–] kulukster@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

I'm Asian but once in a while when I get asked where I'm from, I answer, Well we are all originally from Africa. It often gets me a dirty look.

[–] DueDay8@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

I think there are two things. A New York is a very, very well known place around the world. Probably everyone has heard of New York. Its also known via media for being multicultural especially and as being a place black people live. Whether the media representation was your experience, or not, people have heard of New York and will probably assume you mean NYC even if you actually meant Syracuse or Buffalo.

And two, it does depend where you are traveling whether people ask follow up questions.

I’m black and have been in Latin America (Peru, Mexico, and Belize) almost a year now and people always follow up when I say I’m from the US with, “But, where are you from?” I guess because the US is a big place? When I say Virginia, its about a 50/50 chance people know about that state or not, especially outside Mexico.

If I said the specific city I’m from, absolutely nobody would have heard of it.

I find, in Latin America people either assume I’m from the Caribbean until I speak (I blend in in Belize, but my partner —who is Belizean and white-often gets mistaken for a tourist) or African. Its very strange.

But as soon as I speak, even in Spanish, people hear my accent and ask where I am from, and they usually do follow up with, “But where are you specifically from?” even though half the time they don’t know where that is when I tell them.