Crazy Fucking Videos

We were looking for an affordable family van a while back, drove around a few dealerships and found one that was a few years old, but was a nice trim package, not too many miles and reasonably priced. We were there near the end of the day, so we just took it for a short test drive and decided we liked it.

When we went back to the dealership, the young salesman was eager to get us to buy it. He was a very nice kid, clearly new, a little over excitable, just hoping for sale. We told him that we were going to come back the next day with a mechanic friend of ours to check it out before committing. The kid didn't get pushy or anything, but he had clearly been told that if he might be losing a likely sale to go get his boss, cuz he asked us to wait for a minute and then went to fetch him.

Guys, this dude was a walking caricature of a sleazy car salesman. Combover, gold chains and rings, and... greasy. And his whole attitude and tone was exactly what you'd expect too. He tried every which way to convince us to leave with that van then and there. Told us about how is was 100% guaranteed for XYZ problems for the next 30 days. Told us he'd give us a discount. Yadda yadda. We kept telling him we'd be back tomorrow and finally left.

Came back the next day like we said with our friend who had his $10k diagnostic computer with him. Hooked that bad boy up to the van and, low and behold. Red lights all over the place. Shocker. Best part? The bulbs for the warning lights were removed (or the thing that controls them was removed? Can't remember), which is why they weren't lit on the instrument panel. He starts taking stock of what all needs repaired and how much it would cost and it was over half of the sticker price. My friend showed the poor kid salesman who knew nothing about the actual mechanics of cars, and was just really awkward and unsure of how to spin this into a sale (he tried, bless his heart). And then when the greasy-ass boss came out, he showed him too.

The sleazeball tried to argue at first that his mechanics had checked it out and cleared it, and that he'd guarantee it for some set of issues (conveniently, none of which applied to the actual issues it had), and that there couldn't be anything wrong with it because it didn't have any warning lights. My friend pointed out that he could also see they weren't functioning. He showed him the "Christmas lights" as he called them, all the green and red indicators on his diagnostic tool in just about equal measure. Then the guy starts getting defensive and saying the dude who sold it to him must have removed that stuff, that they would never.

My friend was like "hey dude, I'm not accusing you of anything. I don't know who removed it, but it was clearly removed, and it is hiding all of these issues. I'm just showing you the facts so you can take care of it." Then after we walked away my friend was like "Bullshit. Maybe he did buy it with the panel disabled, or maybe he disabled it himself. Either way, there's zero chance he didn't know about it. No way he doesn't have a tool just like this one in their shop. He knows that thing isn't worth half the price he's trying to sell it for."

So yeah. Get you a mechanic friend if you're looking for a car, guys. They'll save you a lot of money and headache.