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I think that I don't feel the same way about people's interconnectedness. But with respect to those that feel that way, or rather, even though I respect that view, I just don't feel how my - or my friend's - suffering has any cognitive or emotional room for weighing in how my (or her) end of suffering affects others. I'm already carrying a mountain. I don't need another pebble on top of it. Does that make sense?
I'm really sorry to hear that. I find the unity of being a pretty obvious, fundamental, and directly observable truth. Being a good part of this greater whole is my core motivation. When people say 'touch grass' they're (unfortunately often derisively) reminding you to ground yourself in that shared reality. In a zero sum game where everyone possesses their own suffering and competes to experience the least what you're saying makes sense, but I refuse to live that way. It's all our suffering, experienced collectively, and the collapse of one small spark of self inevitably leaves the burden of that experience on the shoulders of the living when it's gone. I think a lot of systemic effort goes into isolating and atomizing us. We're a lot easier to manipulate when we feel isolated and alone. There's not much more I can do to convince you of it through a screen, but that's the message I hope to convey here. Not "suicide is wrong", but "we're all in this together".
Thanks so much for elaborating! It sounds magical. In a non condescending way, at all! I mean it! I wish I could find it in me to feel the same. Maybe someday? I'll definitely noodle it around now.