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Wife is constantly negative (alien.top)

submitted 1 year ago by BigBadIrishSir@alien.top to c/entrepreneur@indiehackers.space

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So like the title says, I have creative ideas and always try to include my wife in discussions, but all she ever brings to the table is problems and negativity when we discuss things. She thinks she's being "pragmatic" but it's tremendously disheartening and the problems she imagines are always the absolute worst of the worst case scenarios. Everything I've ever read or watched when it comes to starting businesses is, just start and figure out the problems later. I'm well aware of the potential for difficulties in any endeavor, but tend to believe in myself and my ability to adapt and overcome. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you find middle ground, if at all?

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[–] fitforfreelance@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Couples counseling.

It can be a communication skills issue. How an idea is expressed is valuable. Knowing you're with each other is key. She could genuinely be just looking out for you, but expressing it in a way that you're not ready to hear. And... as a fellow entrepreneur, I am sensitive to any brakes on my ideas- probably too sensitive.

You'll also need the skill to clearly communicate that you hear her and value her feedback, though you might make a different decision.

One of you will always be more or less of something compared to the other. Imagine the space is smaller and you're usually on the same side overall. At least on the same team.

Imagine everything she says is in deep love for and with you. Like your parents. Probably forgive your parents too. And see how the advice can make your ideas better. As long as the advice isn't personal and you aren't enmeshed in your ideas, feedback at home is for the best! e.g. She can hate your idea, but it's neither expressed nor perceived as, "You're an idiot for having that idea." Same with, "I hear you don't like this idea [and I understand this doesn't make you a dream-killing strumpet]"