this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
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How has nomading affected your ability to have long-term and especially committed relationships?

Long-story short: got back with my ex after a 3-year hiatus in which I visited 15+ countries and had countless of romantic encounters.

Now, every time we have an argument or when things get hard, my mind starts to drift away, thinking I should just pack things up, get a ticket to Mexico/Thailand/etc, and seek those hookups again.

I do wonder, having taken the red pill, whether I’ll ever be able to stay in a committed relationship?

How have you guys dealt with this (esp if you’re male)?

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[–] Any_Elk7495@alien.top 1 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Take a moment and realise what you’re experiencing is due to the ease of hookup nature in ‘travel’ destinations.

If you’re not ready for a relationship, don’t be in one. I’m not and I’m enjoying being single, I’m happy. If you want the hookups and single life, then leave the relationship because it will consume your thoughts. Or just communicate your thoughts (as in this thread) with your partner.

This has nothing to do with being a DN and everything to do with emotional maturity.

[–] BrewedWithAI@alien.top 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This is kind of my fear, though.

If I’m backing out now, and continue on my previous path, then I’m afraid that I’ll never be able to stay in a relationship - esp considering that I want a family someday.

[–] girliegirl80@alien.top 1 points 9 months ago

Idk why you’re getting downvoted. At least you recognize the behavior and damage it could do in the long run.

[–] captnmiss@alien.top 1 points 9 months ago

I’m glad someone said this

The beauty of a beneficial long-term relationship only comes with work. There are no short cuts.

OP is living in a fantasy

I dk whether this story will have any impact or not, but last year I went on a group trip with highly, highly successful people (500m+)

every. single. one of them was married , and was still married to their partner. They built that success with their partner over decades, and they all had very healthy, loving dynamics.

It was really eye-opening to see how much a solid partnership can boost your life and your enjoyment of it

I think it’s well worth the work