Technology

This is just my opinion based on this post so don't take my word for it unless it adds up to you, but it seems to me that you're obsessing over the fear that big tech is causing your destructive / irreflexive / procastinating behavior and trying to cut all connection with big tech instead of possibly also addressing your relationship with whatever media/services/software you use.

My point is, if your entire life becomes FOSS and private and free of large corporate overlords, you might still find yourself engaging in self destructive doomscrolling somewhere or another, or mindlessly doing something else you don't think is great doing.

While I applaud your efforts and I think you should be proud of the sacrifices and work you've done, I also think it might be a good moment to sit back and think of the big picture of how you'd like to fit into the contemporary world.

Wanna go fully off the grid? Sure, but understand the costs and try to be fair regarding the benefits. Want to minimize harm to yourself without loosing too much comfort? That's great but there are a ton of ways you can improve your mental health and peace of mind beyond what platforms and software you choose to use.

I am an addict. a poly-substance addict, specifically. I'll always be an addict, no matter how long I stay sober for and there's nothing anyone can do about this. That's OK, though. You know why? Because I understand that cravings for what we yearn for are just some of our fears in disguise. We fear on missing out, on not having, on not being, on going "hungry" on something. And when it happens and we feel it, we built it up so much with fear we made it into a monster and try to run away from the bad feeling as quickly as possible. We try to drown the desire with some other dopamine source.. Doom scrolling, food, sexual release, video games, whatever.

When you understand satisfying a craving is just running away from fear, you can face your fear: "so what if this happens? bring it, bitches." Of course sometimes you'll still give in to what your better self wants to avoid, but sometimes you won't and that's a good thing.

Well, i don't really have a point beyond inviting you to figure out what you're really scared of, what the real problems you face are, and trying to go big picture on the best approach to address them for yourself.