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Check out tailscale
You would configure your pi to be a subnet router it should be stupid easy to get going.
Something ive noticed from using wireguard from my phone is my traffic across the board slows down significantly while connected because everything is routed back home.
With tailscale can the user be connected, and only have a specific ip/domain routed through it? I also dont have access to the dvr's internal system to run tailscale from it.
Anyway thanks for the lead, im reading up now
There's a similar software called zerotier that only routes traffic you want across. You select an IP range (for instance 10.144..) and it gives your computer a new address. For my main computer let's say it's 10.144.168.128. The only traffic routed over the vpn is traffic addressed to that address. You can append the port to web traffic like https://10.144.168.128:8010/zm/index.php (zoneminder used as an example) and it would use the vpn for that connection but nothing else.