this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2024
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Why does it seem people online will openly degrade anyone but out in public everone runs from confrontation? Why is there such social paranoia in public and too scared to socialize with strangers but will happily insult everyone online? If people are so lonely, why don't they talk with people whil le they are out and exchange contact info? It seems more enjoyable talking with immigrants and better to avoid Canadians. I'm not bothered by dealing with someone talking stupid or if someone wants a friendly hug, it's quite easy to have a good time with strangers and I have no concrns about giving my number to continue talking.

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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Immediate consequences

If you insult someone in real life in front of you, the reactions can range from someone walking away in disgust to someone stepping up to you and slapping or punching you in the face or worse.

Online, if you insult someone, they'll reply with a equally nasty note or they just disappear never to be heard from again.

It's like dogs barking at each other from behind a fence ...

[–] uzi@lemmy.ca -3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You missed my entire point. I was driving at the exact opposite. Why can't people be good to each other in person, stop using internet to live out a delusional fantasy. I was ask why do people talk tough online and insult everyone, but that same person is a coward on the steet. I suspect if Canadian born people had a stronger sense of hospitality, speak with humility, and showed a gentle care for people around, there wouldn't be people spewing rage online.

Since it's clear that people are angry and lonely, if they want someone to care, there has to be a reason to care, but North Americans are a callous self indulgent people. They want change, want better, but won't put in the work to start changing the social dynamics. There really are cultures that will invite new people into their home, that's how I grew up, and those culturals don't have the same social problems when out in public.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm Indigenous Canadian and from my personal lifelong perspective ... things are getting better. They aren't a utopian level yet but we are moving towards that direction.

I think part of the problem that we notice about the internet and social media is that we all tend to gravitate towards rage, anger, hatred and fear way too easily because it is the most exciting and easy reaction that we can all understand and gain a bit of thrill out of. People do like to feel positive and happy with one another but there is a certain level of thrill and excitement at being around and seeing anger, fear and hatred. I'm guilty of it myself ... if I see a terrible car crash on the highway and I'm the first one to see it, I do have a morbid curiousity to want to see the gruesome real life details of what happened ... it doesn't mean that I enjoy that stuff or really want to see it - it's just the thrill and excitement of that curiosity because I would feel absolutely terrible once I saw and understood what I had just witnessed.

Hatred, anger and fear is what drives modern social media ... places like facebook, twitter, instagram, tik tok and all the rest all bank on hatred, anger and fear ... its the engine that drives these places. Once you get someone anger or afraid, they are more likely to engage and react ... maybe not for long but more often than not, they will react. Then that same person will move on and get upset about the next thing they see or read and on and on.

But like I said at the beginning, things in the world are better than they were 20, 30, 40 years ago. My dad was born and raised in the bush and when he visited modern cities and towns in Canada in the 50s and 60s, he was not welcome and treated harshly with a lot of blatant and open racism. In the 70s and 80s things lightened up and Indigenous people were able to work and live more freely. In the 90s when I was a teen, I went to school in the city and things were still rough but the racism was not as open and tolerated any more. In the 2000s, things were better still and being Indigenous was more normalized to the point where racist attitudes were fewer and far between. It doesn't mean it stopped. There was just a lot less racism than a generation before.

My point is ... in the digital world where we feel free to be disconnected from reality and feel that we can treat people in ways we normally wouldn't in public, many people are willingly open to be racist, arrogant and ignorant. But what I've found in the real world is that when you see and meet people in public face to face, they are more open, tolerant and capable of understanding one another regardless of gender, race, background or religion.

We are made to feel online that the world is a less open place whereas in real life from my own personal perspective, the world is a lot more open now than it was 20 - 30 years ago. It still isn't perfect but I think it is a lot better than it was a generation before.

[–] uzi@lemmy.ca -1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I understand what you're saying, social media runs on anger to get that engagement, getting those clicks. There does not seem to be a single site that is ruled my reactions, even Mastodon and Lemmy push having the correct opinions. Due to all of tue deletions, both Lemmy and Mastodon will never grow, never catch on, and there is no future in them. As bad as Twitter is, users are not punished for having the wrong view. Mastodon is a wonderful site, the censorship is why Mastodon will forever be nothing.

The one big thing that I see would drasticly change both the internet and the real world is if there is strict protection of offensive opinions. If someone is not insulting anyone but express a completely diffetent view on a topic, it harms nobody by someone taking a contrary position during a discussion. It seems that people van't deal in nuances, everything gets politized and label, and those labels are always a marker of "Those people have the wrong opinion and they don't have the correct belief like we do, we know better than them."

What you say about a morbid curiosity to see the affects of an accident, I don't. When I'm out and see an ambulance going at full speed, I silently start praying while I continue on and pray for whoever that ambulance is going to help, asking for healing, recovery, and to be made whole again. I'm nt bothered when I'm out if someone has a stupid attitude, and if someone's visibly emotional, check on them and see if there is anyway to be of service to them in their moment of grief.

All I'm talking about is having a heart for humanity, and taking an interest in other people's life and well being, eventually it will come around and someone will go out of their way to care for you because they are interested in see you doing well or being successful in your own life.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 0 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Personally I'm not really bothered by how others live, act or react to others or to me. Unless their actions have a direct and immediate effect on my life, I really do not care what others think. I enjoy the saying that states - 'How others think of me is none of my business' ... because personally if someone is unkind to me, I won't give them the satisfaction of showing them how I feel about it.

I live my life and spread as much good will, love and understanding as I possibly can. And that is all I can do.

I do not have any control over the actions or thoughts of others, I am only able to control the forces inside of me ... and really, that is all we are capable of in this world and this life.

The only hope we can give to others is by showing our own example. We can hope that what we do and what we say (or write) will have a positive effect on others and maybe they can witness the example you set and do the same to others. Just as negativity, anger and hatred can be so easily spread ... positivity, love, hope and understanding can be spread the same way by showing it others as often as possible.

[–] uzi@lemmy.ca -3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I am fully with you on your general premise, I'm in agreement with you. It's people completely lose their minds and lose all self control as soon as someone says "I don't believe in vaccines", without thinkingabout the people around them everyday in public who never got it and they will never know.

That's what I mean about responding to rage and anger, and not having the humility to care for others without getting wrapped up in having contrary views and being of service and gentle care to others.

I don't ask for agreement or complience in order to be close friends with anyone.

[–] grte@lemmy.ca 1 points 9 months ago

You are an insane bigot who regularly gets comments removed for being hateful. What a joke.