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Please help: What's your take on woman drinking guy's beer without asking after he starts dancing with her? (beehaw.org)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by appledinosaurcat@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org

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Please be kind with me as I am new to this platform. I was at a club when a very handsome guy, totally my type, started dancing with me. I don't know what gave me the courage to take the half finished beer from his hand and take a sip of it without asking. I then gave his beer back to him, and he said he had to go but will be right back. It was an excuse to stop dancing with me since he just stayed put in his friend group without going anywhere. I've been feeling really bad after that happened and would have danced the night away with him if I could. And now I have no idea what his name or phone number is, just keep replaying that night in my mind.

What is your opinion on a woman taking a man's beer and having a sip without asking? Is it such an awful gesture that his sudden rejection was warranted? Was he angry, scared off, or just thought I was easy? I am not that type of person and had no ill intentions whatsoever. I just acted on natural impulse and was trying to be flirtatious. Thank you for any advice and comfort.

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[–] Tippon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 7 months ago (9 children)

I know they're not getting drunk off a sip, and didn't say that the sip was the free drink.

They'd do this to young single guys, the type who looked naive, and flirtily take a sip from the guy's drink, making it clear that they wanted a drink of their own. The guy, usually being drunk and stupid, would fall for it and buy them drinks for as long as they kept flirting. At the end of the night, the girls would drop the act and just walk away.

Obviously, nobody owes anyone else anything, and this clearly isn't what OP was doing but if you've been burned by someone taking advantage in the past, you're more likely to think that's what's happening again.

[–] Devi@beehaw.org 2 points 7 months ago (8 children)

I think you're reading way too far into a playful action.

Also, buying someone a drink does not make them obligated to sleep with you, but that's not relevant to the story because nobody bought anyone anything.

[–] Tippon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 7 months ago (7 children)

OP asked for opinions on why the guy walked away. I offered an opinion based on my experience from my many years running a nightclub. Absolutely nobody has suggested that anyone should be obligated to sleep with anyone else. In fact, the last sentence of my last post said exactly the opposite.

As I've repeatedly said, OP was clearly not doing this. I suggested that maybe the guy that OP was flirting with has been burned by someone else doing that to him in the past, and that's why he reacted in that way.

@appledinosaurcat@beehaw.org I'm not always great at getting my point across, so if I have implied that you did anything wrong, please know that it was not my intention, and I apologise.

[–] appledinosaurcat@beehaw.org 2 points 7 months ago

Don't worry about it, thank you for sharing the perspective you gained from your experience. I am just now seeing the exchange below. It wasn't my intention to create a controversial discussion, but I appreciate you both taking time to offer input.

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