this post was submitted on 30 May 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/14816537

I’m 43 years old but apparently I have a baby face, good hair for my age and everyone believes I’m in my mid 20s, even though I already have some gray hairs nobody seems to notice (so far).

I started the lie: first time I started my last job at a hospital immediately after my bachelor and told my new coworkers my real age (38 at the time) they started judging me: why are you not married, why don’t you have children, what have you done in the last 20 years.

The way these women asked was accusatory, like I’m a failure for being almost 40 and not having children or being single. At that moment I decided next time somebody at the workplace asks me for my age, to blatantly and shamelessly lie: I’m 25, leave me alone.

Since that bad experience I’ve worked at 2 other hospitals and my lie has always helped: patients and coworkers believe I’m 25 because as said I look like it, don’t pester me about children or marriage and while my current coworkers are gossips and need drama to live, they don’t push my buttons because I don’t give them any ammunition. It’s tolerable.

Note that I didn’t lie in my application and accounting and management at my workplace know very well my real age, but my coworkers and direct manager are oblivious to it: On my first day I just told them I’m 25 and they didn’t question it.

Now, I have the body of a 43 year old, meaning I don’t lift heavy patients like a 25 year old and sometimes I come home with back pain. I don’t know if I’d get better assignments if I’m sincere about my age (I’d like that, but is it realistic?). I just don’t want to get to 65 with a broken back. I don’t want drama either, just to work and go home.

I lie to protect myself.

If I need to change this, why and how?

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[–] lemann@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 5 months ago

Embrace it, make the most of it. Anyone else's criticism of you solely based on your age is frankly irrelevant IMO, and not worth even thinking about...

Lying about your age could be a problem in certain scenarios, like say some kind of medical situation, or even if a coworker expresses romantic interest with the belief that your age is something completely different. It's not ideal, but I would probably suggest to tread carefully with it.

Don't know the dynamics of your work assignment - however if you trust your manager it might be worth having a quick conversation about it to see if you can at least be put onto tasks that take your body's condition into consideration.