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I agree wholeheartedly with all you have said. It is especially frustrating when someone else's emotions prime me to feel that emotion overwhelmingly when the next slightly justifiable situation occurs.
For example, I had a friend who was going through the end of a terrible marriage and we talked about it a lot. She would leave, and then the next thing that came out of someone else's mouth would often make me snap at them, which would confuse them. I would feel justified in my anger at the time because it felt so real, but later realize it was just carry over from my conversation with my friend.
Luckily, she is divorced now and doing great.