this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2024
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Autism
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My first rule in life, look after yourself. You can't help others properly if you don't care for yourself.
If it's a choice between pissing off my parents because I leave when they want help, and missing medical help in a crowded system? I'd go for upsetting parents, they'll get over it.
Look after yourself, go get help. This is coming from someone (me) who has mental health issues. Your future self will thank you if you start the path of treatment sooner rather than later.
Hope you're feeling well now. Take care!
Oh and tell them you've got a medical appointment, they do not need to know what kind, just say you've been on a waiting list for a long time.
I must specify that our culture is very very different. They think that autism is immediately linked to several cognitive deficiencies. I remember wanting to talk about the subject to my dad, and his face immediately frowned when he thought I suggested having autism. Plus when my initial doctor thought I might have some kind of neurodivergency, like ADHD, my parents immediately turned down the idea, and I haven't heard from the doctors ever since.
I have to do medical appointments with them by my side, and if not, they must know every detail about it. Doesn't matter if it's private. They'll even go as far as to share it with families and friends. Sure do love gosip.
Still, thank you a lot. I'm not sure how to express it properly, but I am thankfull that you answered.
Edit: autocorrect
Culture and tradition are just peer pressure from dead people. Your first and only obligation is to yourself. Just go. No words. Lie like there's no tomorrow if you have to.
From a place of freedom it looks like that, however the issue is more with those who enforce that kind of culture. That part is harder to get free from.
Morally i am with you but please don’t destroy your only support group just because they are dogmatic and fail to provide adequate support.
I am not saying you have to stay with bad people but most likely they the family means well but is misguided dumb there will be future opportunities for mental help and a more gradual path to independence, a supportive family of their own may work better long term.
Man if only I was a good liar XD.
I have an idea but it might backfire hard. I think I'm too much of a coward to even ask my parents to go out again.
Don't ask, tell. "I have to go, I'll be back in a few hours". Then leave. You are not making a request.
Lol. Don't ask. Just go.
It's easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission. I wish you all the best and good luck, I hope it works out for you!
As the other person said, don't lie: I have to go out, I'll be back soon. And go.
Ah. Yes cultural issues can be a challenge. Sounds like you've got somewhat limited freedom.
Maybe there's some other kind of commitment you can come up with? Or perhaps try to call in to the medical location you were considering to see if you can schedule something for a better time?
Hope you're able to find help