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Union Lets Tom Cruise Act During Strike From Fear Of What He’ll Do When He Can’t Make Movies (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by HotSoda@hexbear.net to c/moviesandtv@lemmy.film

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“You can tell there is an unrelenting darkness within him that can only be exorcised by jumping a motorcycle into a canyon or parachuting out of a plane in semi-orbit—and none of us wants to find out where that energy would be redirected were he not able to spend 17 hours a day performing stunts for a camera crew."

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[–] cthonctic@kbin.social 10 points 1 year ago

"Unrelenting darkness within him"? I thought that's why Uncle Xenu installed his Thetan pump so those can be sucked out like some sort of anti-midichlorians.