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submitted 2 months ago by PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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inb4 "if it's legal it's not a crime"

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[–] lattrommi@lemmy.ml 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Crime means breaking the law, correct?

Nolocation is named, so I will assume this refers the laws of physics and reality.

I would:

expand time so that it lasts a near infinite duration, contained entirely within this day of no crime
transmute a bunch of the rocks in my apartment into gold
alter my DNA to include working wings like a bat, a prehensile tail like a monkey, gills like a salamander, enviromental adaptability like a chameleon that's selective so I can hide these enhancements from others
one more enhancement related to a very specific part of the anatomy of a horse or blue whale, or whatever it is people want these days
remove all genetic defects of my body, like susceptability to cancer and addictions, grant it full immunity to diseases, put it into a perfect equilibrium with near instantaneous regeneration and longevity and thus allowing my life to last as long as I desire
create a star from nothing and collapse it in a way that stores all of its energy into a pocket sized battery with perfect functionality and adaptability that is nearly indestructable
hold hands with two chicks at the same time

It's fun to dream of the impossible.