this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2024
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Apologists like you are part of the problem and one big reason why it's still there.
This is not an abstract problem of rhetoric. Shit like this is actively hurting people. It normalises hateful speech and behaviour against minorities.
Because it's not your place to tell people from a marginalized group how they are allowed to interact with the slurs that have been used against them. Reclaiming words and for once holding the power around the word is their right if they so choose.
It's your job as a parent to explain the historical and social context to your children. You have work to do if your child is bothered they can't call other kids a slur that those children have reclaimed. It does nobody any good to bury our heads in the sand, say persecuted people can't say it if my privileged child can't say it, and pretend there's no complex history there.
Marginalization is not universal or absolute. You can easily have people who are marginalized in some contexts, and privileged in others.
An easy example is religion.
A christian in Spain is probably considered part of the majority and privileged, meanwhile, that same person could be subject to intense persecution in a country like Saudi Arabia because of the same beliefs.
The same can be applied to this child being bullied by their racist peers.
It's not absolute, yes. But we're not talking about any situation—specifically white and black children using a specific racial slur. One of those belongs to a group that has been (and still is) systematically persecuted with that term connected. The other has not. We're not seriously going to say that one white kid potentially being bullied is somehow comparable to the history of societal persecution against black people I hope.
The point I was making is it's not reasonable to turn one situation of someone being bullied as evidence that black people are not allowed to use the n word if white people can't. That's it. I'm really amazed that is somehow controversial.