this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
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Asklemmy
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Yeah I've had a look at the other replies and I'm sorry you don't have this knowledge. I gather she is possibly young and you are her first guy, so take it easy.
So I'll tell you a few things that work for me but bear in mind if she really isn't sensitive this is going to be a waste of time.
One thing to keep in mind is that touching yourself doesn't feel the same as being touched. Try to tickle your own armpits. You're going to have to put some effort into it to feel the tickles, and you probably won't flinch. Now compare that to someone else tickling you. Different sensation and reaction, right?
Something similar happens with other parts as well. I usually prefer massaging right next to the clitoris, and my own fingers in that area are just fine. Someone else's though, are not. Things feel either a bit painful or numb and it's just annoying.
To get around this, some indirect stimulation is good. One thing that works is covering the clit with the labia majora. Once it's protected and buried there, the other person can massage vigorously or gnaw and it's pleasant, for me at least. Now flesh is different in everyone so this may not be an option for some people.
You can also try a vibrator and keep a good distance from the clitoris (this may change depending on the toy used) but don't think you need to use it closely. I'd suggest applying pressure with it against her body and keep it at least 10 cm away from the clitoris, then gauge if it needs to be moved.
Finally, lordosis! Some positions may be more pleasant than others. For me it's always doggy since I find the more I arch my back and lift my butt up, the better it feels around the general area of the clitoris. I've found women who agree with me in this, those who strongly disagree and those that shrug so again, YMMV.
I hope some of this helps, good luck there.
Thank you! This is really educational and I'll try it out!
I appreciate your openness ๐