this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2024
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Bidet.
I gave up on reddit years ago but whenever someone posts about bidets it reminds me of my favorite reddit exchange
Someone posted asking why americans don’t use bidets. I commented, saying “am american, use bidet. Love it, shits tight”
Eventually a reply came from a confused esl person asking me if I had a constipation problem because they didn’t understand the colloquialism “shits tight”
I think about that exchange more often than I should
Apparently they didn't know shit.
I mean a bidet would help with tight shit as well.
A bidet is a miracle device, helps in any and all situations. Diarrhea? Solved. Constipation? Solved. Regular? Surprisingly, solved. Wanna do the front too? Can be a bit awkward but it's got you covered (in water, of course). Washing the throne? Solved. Basic calculus? Solved. Advanced calculus? Believe it or not, solved. Taxes? Avoided. Marriage counseling? Ever since I got my bidet my wife says my "stench is less appalling". Solved, baby. I even use it to water the garden and defend my house from intruders.
Cannot recommend enough.
Thirsty? Solved!
Neti pot? Solved!
Would require good water pressure. Although that's a careful balancing act because you can go too far the other way. Then that's an embarrassing hospital visit.
Fires up pressure washer with extreme prejudice.
Doubtful. I have never heard of residential water pressure high enough to do any damage.
¡Duce's Loose!
Joe Bidet?
John Bidet, inventor of the bidet.
My house has four bathrooms and three bidets. My teenage son just won't get on board with having a clean ass.
Maybe he has a sensitive ass.
It's gentler than tp
Maybe he thinks touching his butthole would make him gay and a bidet would force him to wipe.
gang 🤞