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From a different Lemmy post I wrote a month ago:
I also host my own mail and there's been little issues.
Microsoft is a pain in the ass if you're in an IP space they don't like like DigitalOcean. Which is ironic because they have the worst spam filter by far in the industry.
If you want to get through to everyone you will have to:
I can't recommend mailcow enough, it makes setting up a mail server a breeze.
https://github.com/mailcow/mailcow-dockerized
Use the MXToolbox to verify your server(s).
https://mxtoolbox.com/diagnostic.aspx
I have used mailcow as well for the past few years and it's been fantastic.