this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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A Boring Dystopia
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Has anyone else heard that people are trying to return their new Teslas and Cybertrucks because they are apparently infested with bedbugs?! I guess they are in the factories and dealerships and have just been crawling into the cars at night?
It wouldn't surpise me if Elmo and the news are trying to keep a tight lid on it so people won't find out, and Conspiracy nuts are saying that Tesla is torching their own Cybertrucks in the dealership lots to contain the spread.
I didnt belive it at first but a friend of mine took a Lyft in a Tesla the other night and started to feel itchy but the back seat was dark and she was on her phone. While she was getting out, she noticed a bunch of tiny spots on her dress and they were bedbugs!
Naturally she freaked the fuck out and the driver apologized profusely begging her not to give him a bad review before speeding off.
She refused to go into her apartment afterward and spent a few hours in the laundry room practically naked running her clothes in the dryer! Apparently high heat is the only Way to get rid of them?
She's still traumatized and insists she still feels them crawling on her even though an exterminator with a bedbug sniffing dog assured her the apartment was clear.
Has anyone else heard about this? It's so messed up, considering they're such expensive cars!
the paranoia thing after having had bedbugs is so fucking real. why do fascists love spreading plagues so much? do they all just jack off to 'snow crash' all day?
They think hygiene is a conspiracy
I like my version more.
If you've ever been to the bay area, and this actually comes up in the most recent 'behind the bastards' episodes, the entirety of silicon valley, where a lot of modern anglophone fascism comes from, is made entirely of four things:
reinventing the dumbest philosophy of dark ages, now with cyberpunk flavor
calling the scifi story they read that one time "logic"
"reinventing the Torment Nexus, from their favorite dystopian novel 'Do Not Build The Torment Nexus'"
weird sex stuff. which is sometimes pretty fun.
so I think "they all jack off to snow crash, especially the parts with the fifteen year old" is equally plausible.
then again; por que no los dos?
I've had this problem and I've done the same laundry dance. It is extremely stressful.
Were those 4 trucks I heard burned at a dealership? That would track.