I know this isn't directly answering your question and that lots of people will disagree with me on this but unfortunately I think the best option at the moment is to just not let kids go online. The supposed social and educational benefits and the relief from peer pressure/FOMO just don't justify the damage to their future mental health and understanding of identity.

I'm not personally confronted by this yet because mine are still too young, so take my view for what it is.

I'm a millennial and remember a few kids when I was growing up who didn't have a TV because their parents weren't comfortable with the brainrot, even back then. That was thirty years ago and those kids are now successful and confident people, living full lives. And nobody even really noticed at the time that they were the odd ones out because they didn't watch TV. They are more 'functional' than the rest of us.

Things are way more intense now. The people who work for social media companies won't let their kids on it, which I think says it all.

It's a shame that the internet as a whole has become what it is because it has/had a lot of positive potential. But even the more ethical and neutral parts of it get infected by the pathological culture and addictive format that has emerged from it. Just look at the judgement and antagonism that you often see here on Lemmy for example. Not to mention the loneliness.

Personally, right now, I would look for a solution that isn't a smartphone but that's just me.