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Watching porn to get relief.
I – as many other guys in this society – learned to watch porn at a young age. So I wired sexual stimulation as well as the dopamine release after orgasm to porn. For many years of my life, I would not masturbate without it.
I denied my addiction because everyone watches porn, right? Also I thought, being addicted to porn means sitting at home all day fapping and watching more and more perverse stuff. So I can't be addicted, if I watch porn once a week, right?
Well, it took me a long time to figure all that out. The society having such a positive attitude towards porn did not help. Maybe, we all are addicted. I think it's super fucked up. If not due to the effect it has on our brains, then at least due to the humiliation of women for capital.
An addiction is when your habit starts having significant negative impacts on your life. So, for example, if you are choosing to stay home and watch porn instead of going to work, buying groceries, go out with friends, or sleep with actual women, then yes, you have a porn addiction.
If you jerk off on a Tuesday night before you go to bed... that's fine. Watch porn, or don't, it doesn't matter. If you enjoy your life more when you don't watch porn for whatever reason, that's fine too. You do you. But regularly watching porn isn't an addiction any more than regularly grabbing a beer with friends on a Friday night makes you an alcoholic.
Also, yes, there is a problem of the exploitation of women in some porn. Some porn studios do take advantage of women. But women aren't "humiliated" simply by being in porn. There is nothing wrong with a woman willingly engaging in any kind of sexual act in front of a camera, whether it's plain ol missionary or an interracial CNC gangbang. Many women enjoy making porn and sharing it - just peruse FetLife and you can see tons of porn made completely for free, just for fun.
Like, really. Unless it's a problem, it's not a problem.
This is how I feel with a lot of vices.
I think the worst part is when people don't realize they're addicted and have a lower-than-average life. Streamers normalizing things like peeing in bottles or living in a mess. Or just being addicted to doom scrolling and not going outside to interact with the real world.
And if the person doesn't have the tools to reflect on their situation, they're kind of screwed. They don't know what to change.
Thats why this perspective is a problem. You won't know you are at risk of addiction until you are already addicted. Apparently its very easy to kick addictions though so I guess no worries. Theres definitely some logic to the idea things aren't a an addiction until they negatively affect your life, but I think there needs to be more nuance there for it to be practically useful advice.
FetLife is a good counterexample I did not know yet. And I completely agree: there is nothing wrong with women willingly doing porn.
But looking at other freely available porn, I cannot agree that only some porn studios treat their actors like submissive cash cows doing literally anything to feed the dopamine rush of their viewers. Sure the actors are paid for it. Prostitutes also get paid and still nobody would claim they are enjoying their job. In the end, we all need money to survive.
I said some, since I didn't feel comfortable giving even general statistics here.
Prostitution should be legal and regulated, which would significantly lessen incidents of abuse of women.
Do porn stars and prostitutes like their jobs? Some of them do. For some it is just a job. For some, they hate it, but it is their best option for making money. In all these cases, this is not different than any other job, and I don't see a problem with that. Only if there is real significant coersion does it become problematic to me.