this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2025
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Who (and when) was the first person in history to wank? And how did they find out?
Genesis 38:8-10
In all seriousness, since apes do it (a lot), I don't think there ever were a "first person in history". It's more just a consequence of having long enough arms.
But could an elephant also have done it first?
An elephant? Why not the wooly mammoth?
All I know is that I now completely understand why the T-Rex was so aggressive all the time.
Tiny arms.
Probably like probably most people still do find out nowadays.
I doubt there was porn at that time!
You'd be surprised
I want to know how they figured out shagging and how that creates babies.
Exactly how wasn't known anywhere before1875, however most humans through history seem to have had some idea of there being a connection between sex and pregnancy. I remember reading about isolated island peoples having other ideas, like the Trobriand people who believed that an ancestral spirit entered the woman's body and that sex had nothing to do with it. However this article claims those reports are half-true at best; the Trobriand people apparently considers sex necessary for the formation of the fetus, even if it's not the primary cause. There's also some speculation that humans became aware of the relationship between sex and pregnancy after the domestication of dogs because of their shorter gestation period. Ultimately, we'll never know...