this post was submitted on 25 Apr 2025
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Mental Health

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How can I deal with being very sensitive and being hurt by mean people? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by Lost_Person@lemmy.world to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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Hello I'm 21/male and I'm very sensitive and I get easily hurt by mean people.

I don't understand why there are so many mean people everywhere in both the real world (like my parents etc.) and online like Reddit/Lemmy.

All I do is exist and ask genuine questions but people criticize the way I talk, live and call me a troll, stupid etc. People online even told me they would be happy if I kill myself.

I fundamentally don't understand why people are so evil in the first place? Why would they wanna hurt anyone? I could never. If I ever accidentally hurt someone in the slightest I would feel so bad/miserable and do my best to apologize and make it right.

These experiences are the reason why I have fundamental mistrust against humanity and have paranoia towards people.

Especially when I'm interested in another country/culture and hope people might be better there it's a big disappointment when they're mean and cruel towards me online cause it makes me feel like many people in that country might be like this too.

It makes me very depressed and disappointed. It really takes away the last hope I have in life.

Is there any country or place where people might be less mean/direct?

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[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 6 points 22 hours ago

A few things that might help about triggering mean behaviour:

  • Often "just asking questions" is used by trolls to trigger arguments or pull people into debates. That's why when you use that language people get immediately aggressive online. Try asking for where or how you can learn more instead, it's more genuine and let's other people feel like they won't be obligated to argue later.
  • "Why don't you just" type questions can come off as dismissing all the thought that went into something. If you rephrase to learning more about a topic you can often avoid that.
  • Don't be afraid to walk away from online discussions that hurt your feelings. It's okay to apologize and clarify, or leave a response not answered if you're in an argument online. There are a lot of angry/grumpy people who are happy to lash out when you give them a chance. They don't reflect most people in the world, they're just very over represented online.

I think also as you get older you will learn more about yourself and build up some confidence to shield your feelings. It's valid to feel hurt, but over time you learn which things matter and which do not.