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I'm sorry about this :( Theyre wrong, i dont know about the legality of it but i hope you get to see your child again.
Thank you for saying that. I could force it through court but, ignoring expense, I remember what it's like to have parents fight one another over me and then at the conclusion they could hardly have a conversation. I don't want to do that to them.
Write them a letter, make sure they get it. Tell them you wait until they are ready and old enough to meet you without their mother's approval. Also talk to the mom, offer to watch the kids sometimes, in my experience moms love "time off".
I have that exact scenario looming over me at the moment. I'm very scared of losing my bio children (3) over my mentally unstable partner choosing the alcoholic best friend over living with me. She has already refused any touch for more than a year. the only one hugging me are the little ones and I don't know who i am without taking care of them anymore. Had a bad panic attack for the first time in my live.
I wish you all the best.