this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2025
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Mildly Infuriating
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I posted elsewhere in this thread, but I don't see how actively and knowingly posting while breaking the rules of a community is seen as posting in good faith. If they are soliciting opinions from their community, and you were not part of their community, then your opinion is not one they are looking for.
The people who made a woman only community are doing exactly what you think they should do. They are seeing the overwhelming hate being directed towards women in online spaces, and trying to create a space exclusively for women. You might not like that, but that is what they have chosen to do to fix what they see as an issue. I don't see how you think OP is being the change he wants to see and that the mods are in the wrong. OP is not a woman and cannot speak to the female experience. Even within the female experience, plenty of people disagree. That's why it's great that there is plenty of space for other people to make their own communities. Going into a community that has made their stance clear, and is for people that regularly face hate and oppression, especially online, and deciding that is the big injustice you see in the world is certainly a choice. There are plenty of places and communities that openly spread hate not just for women, but for LGBT people of which OP says they are. Maybe they should spend time criticizing those spaces instead of picking on a group of already marginalized people who happen to have a single point of disagreement on how to run their space.
Edit to add that additional context has been provided. Apparently the post in question was not an meta discussion and there was no indication that peoples opinions were being solicited. In fact it was a complaint about the way people react towards the community.
OP said his post was about the angry posts coming from that community so that's what I was commenting on.
I'm not trying to get into an argument here, and based on your one sentence response, it seems like you're not either, but angry posts in general don't mean anything. I see a lot of angry posts about healthcare or the government or the increasing descent into fascism, and if somebody commented on any of those that they didn't like seeing it, I wouldn't necessarily think that comment was productive. Posts are allowed to be angry because people are allowed to be angry. Especially about injustice and oppression, which I imagine a lot of the "angry posts" are actually about, considering it's a community of marginalized people for marginalized people. Just something to think about.
Oh, I don't mind an argument.
I agree that just making a post about not wanting to see that wouldn’t be productive - nobody cares what they want or don’t want, because this place isn’t made for them. But that’s also no less productive than the angry posts themselves. Simply complaining isn’t productive, and that applies to both examples.
However, discussing these topics and what to do about them is productive - as is engaging in a conversation about whether simply expressing anger serves any useful purpose. He acknowledged he was breaking the rules and was willing to get banned for it, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be frustrated when that also results in being banned from other communities whose rules he hadn’t actually broken. Especially when that comes with the misogynist-label which almost definitiely isn't true.
But their comment objectively is less productive than the "angry posts", because their comment was against the rules and deleted and not engaged with, whereas the "angry posts" are there for the community to engage with and offer sympathy and understanding and a place to vent. It's a kind of weird martyr complex that nobody asked for. Oh, woe is me, I got banned for breaking the rules! Why even comment in the first place if you knew it was going to be deleted? Elsewhere someone provided context that they did not comment on a "Meta" post. It was just a post complaining about how people treat the community. It was not at all soliciting advice or external opinions. They then went out of their way to break the rules and essentially prove the post right. Essentially showing that they think they are above the rules and that their opinion deserves to be heard regardless of what the user or the mods or the community has already expressed. Saying he was somehow "starting a discussion" makes no sense considering he knew that he would get banned and his comment removed. That was neither the time nor place to start any kind of discussion, and quite frankly I don't think somebody attempting to have a good faith discussion would have it in that manner. If a transphobe went into a trans space that explicitly did not allow transphobes, and made a comment lamenting that they can't ask questions in that community, would you still feel similarly? They just "see a wrong" in the world and are trying to start a discussion about it. Or would you think that it is OK for some spaces to have rules that are not up for discussion, especially within that space?
He might not have known that he would be getting banned from other subs, but as a user of several subs, I fully support admins taking steps to block people who willingly break rules of other marginalized communities. I think reasonable minds can disagree on this last point, but blahaj is pretty famous for being strict with bans even if not on the community/instance in question and the users of that instance actually really like that. I don't know if this will be escalated, or if the ban will even stay in place, but my understanding is that people like that instance specifically because the mods there are so vigilant.
My comment wasn’t meant to defend OP per se or claim he was treated unfairly. He knowingly broke a community rule and accepted the risk of being banned. I don’t see injustice there, and I even said that mods are just people and can do whatever they want - it’s part of how this place works, for better or worse.
What I was commenting on was the broader dynamic I see across Lemmy: the general negativity, hostility, and tribalism that seem to dominate the tone of this place. OP’s situation just happened to illustrate that vibe quite nicely. I wasn’t defending the specific post - just pointing out how quickly things escalate into labels, assumptions, and hostility, and how that seems to be the norm here.
I also take no issue with exclusive communities. One for just men would equally be fair game.
I guess this section seems to indicate otherwise: "Like everyone else, you see issues in your environment - but unlike most people, you actually try to understand them and find solutions. And for that, you get nothing but pain."
But I will take you at your word that you were more commiserating than directly agreeing. The internet in general is leading to more tribalism, sure, but I'm not seeing it any more on Lemmy than I am elsewhere. Mostly seeing it as it relates to politics. Would you mind sharing where you're seeing that? Have you noticed specific communities or instances or topics? I follow a variety of content and it's mostly pretty chill people with some political vitriol sprinkled in for novelty sake.
I'm not on any other social media, so I can’t comment on that. I’m sure it existed on Reddit as well, but the user base there was more ideologically diverse, so extremism would usually get pushback no matter where it came from. Lemmy, on the other hand, is much more of a left-wing echo chamber, so those kinds of comments mostly just get applause, and calling them out tends to lead to being shunned instead. I don’t follow political communities, but I still encounter these kinds of comments regularly - and they’re usually upvoted by several people.