this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2025
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Your last sentence is somewhat naive. It can often place the onus on the wrong group. People don’t want to engage with the XLibre dude with open minds and empathy any more because back when they did, he didn’t engage with an open mind or empathy. You can only do that for so long before you have to isolate and protect. Quarantine, deplatforming, and isolation works when someone refuses to engage. At some point you have to be intolerant of intolerance if you want to get anything done.
Scope some literature on deradicalization. There is only so much empathy you can give someone who thinks an entire group of people don’t deserve to be human and, more importantly, there has to be a cutoff when you’re not getting empathy back. You’re right, empathy and an attempt to understand is important. Don’t forget many people in marginalized or attacked groups have to defend their existence every single fucking day so sometimes their empathy is pretty drained.
I totally understand and I'm more ranting about this just in general.. My in laws are super Trumpers and just going down the rabbit hole. I totally get that its exhausting to argue or try to push them to think about the shit they are saying, but its the only thing I can think of that MIGHT help
Does being intolerant of intolerance actually work though?
Note: I'm not being tolerant of their views, im challenging them constantly on them in a constructive way (at least to me). It doesn't generally go over well, but it has helped seemingly to treat them with respect and to do active listening and challenge that by making them actually feel like you've heard them.
Well it seems to "work" in that they will be isolated, but id argue it also is counter productive because it helps them grow their isolated communities by playing the victim. However it is probably less counterproductive then trying to engage with them, which is both pointless and a waste of time.
I think its not pointless. Many people are not intentionally this way, they've just fallen for propaganda.
I was one of those people, but because I had a good friend at a job who didn't judge me and gave me a more informed and alternate viewpoint, it really changed my mind on a lot of things.
There are some people who might honestly be open to having a true discussion, and that's the first step to changing minds I think.
I have had better luck where instead of trying to prove someone wrong, I make them just say their opinion out loud and explain it very clearly for me. Some people realize how shallow their views and knowledge are when you do this for them