movies

Got several Rifftrax and, armed with that, finally worked up the courage to watch Old. Left me speechless. The amateurishness of the writing was astonishing. So, so, so many things wrong with it and I don't even necessarily include the basic premise of "beach that makes you old". I watch Doctor Who religiously, I can deal with weird nonsense.

Maybe at least hint at the big thing that is vitally important to the plot being there at some point before it becomes relevant and you reveal it out of absolutely nowhere? Seems like basic writing rules.

Hair and nails may be technically "dead" but there's living cells that produce the material and would obviously continue doing so. If you're trying to address your (many) plot holes and inconsistencies, do think your solution through.

Who the fuck came up with the idea that cells in children's bodies need to be fed because they're still growing while adults only "age" and don't grow new cells so adults wouldn't need food? What? That's not how that works? If you're grasping at straws to explain your shit, don't bring it up at all.

And stop making your characters say what is happening. Oh emm gee. Seriously. Staaahp. Is this one of those movies that I'm supposed to watch while looking at my phone?

The Rifftrax helped me through the thing, as expected.