this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2025
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[–] sxan@midwest.social 58 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Related: I know that incest is currently a popular fetish, but I discovered a long time ago that if a girl looks too much like my sister its an immediate turn-off. It did take me a little while to connect why I found so many models, who seemed to be popular, so unattractive.

I don't think I've ever meet anyone who looks like mom, so that hasn't been an issue. My wife resembles no-one in my family.

Freud claimed all men want to marry their mothers. I haven't found this to be commonly true, and now I don't trust "daddy issues" being common, either.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago

It did take me a little while to connect why I found so many models, who seemed to be popular, so unattractive.

Humble bragging about your sister...

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I had an irrational hatred for Thandie Newton and I didn’t realize why until someone pointed out that she looks like my birth mother.

[–] sxan@midwest.social 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Maybe but she's an abusive psychopath.

[–] sxan@midwest.social 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah, but the crazy ones are the best in bed. Have you tried fucking her?

[–] Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe 10 points 1 week ago

Daddy Issues isn't the same as "marrying your mother".

I've always heard the former was about having a poor relationship with your father, and the latter about whatever your maternal relationship was like, good or bad.

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

It's not, the Oedipal complex is a correlation. The "marrying one's parent" phenomenon most certainly has a psychological causality somewhere, but it's certainly not due to a generally applicable Oedipal complex.

A concrete example, the only relatively comparable thing I've had to deal with was tending to select romantic partners based on how familiar my dynamics with them were to me. Having lived in an unhealthy familial environment and with relatively few childhood friends, the only familiar I had was belligerent and punitive. Otherwise, none of my parents, or even from my extended family, are my type. I'm saying this in a literal sense. And this is against a constant, solid background of "like...no, they're family."

[–] sxan@midwest.social 16 points 1 week ago

I love Lemmy. It's a place where you can post a comment and not know if you're going to get a vitriolic anarchist taking exception to how you said something, or a detailed, clinical clarification of a point.

On Reddit, you get only the first thing. I live for the second.

[–] dontbelievethis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Isn't it just dead simple in that a mother is caring and gives you the feeling of safety, generally speaking, so you look for that in a partner too?

So it's not that you want to fuck your mom but you look for positive traits in a partner that you parents instilled in you.

Agreed, it's that familiarity I referenced! But talking from Freud's perspective, "if it isn't about sex, then get out of here" (paraphrasing):))

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I even find it weird if a woman has the same name as my mom. She doesn't have a very common name luckly

[–] sxan@midwest.social 2 points 1 week ago

Yeah, that would probably geek me out, too. My mom's name was not a popular girl's name for my generation, thankfully.