this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2025
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I was something like a popular class clown eventually. The first six years of school (ages 7 to 13)(or really 6 to 13, because i had the same classmates since preschool in the same building) I went to a really small school in my more rural part of the rural town that I grew up in (seriously the entire school had three classrooms in the building with one teacher teaching two different years at the same time i guess? because there were still 6 different classes for each year, and i seem to remember it being like that, but i seriously can't be sure anymore). So weren't enough people to start discriminating against. But then the last three I went to the larger school in the centre of our town (and where everyone from every local elementary school went for secondary school), with more students and thus more room for discrimination. And there I found out I was on the last rung of the ladder with the rest of my class... But then again I did seem to fall into quite a deep depression at this time and grew completely alienated to most of my male classmates, some of whom i had had since even before school, so it can well be that I more or less imagined being as much of an "outcast" as I thought I was. But be it as it may, I've yet to be in any kind of contanct with most of them since secondary school ended, when upper secondary school started I found myself alone. Luckily, a fellow as-of-yet undiagnosed autistic kid found a likeminded individual in me, and took my introverted ass under his more extroverted wing for protection. Even more lucky was that this kid (who i still consider a brother to me, after all these years. i am not exaggerating when i say that he saved my life many times, and showed me unrivaled patience even more) had large amounts of friends from the local sports teams and related folks, so I kinda basically just slided right in. Indeed โ despite all the depression and anxiety, and the general teenage drama, and the fact that the town we grew up in was so completely devoid of anything else to do for most people our age that we drank a whole lotta alcohol โ to quote Bryan Adams in The Summer of '69 - Those were the best days of my life.
ps. forgive me for any typos and such, i am what we in the profession call blazed. i have awoken and atoken, so to say