this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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I know lemmy is titled to the left, so most probable answer is going to be no, managers are our enemy, but hear me out.

I always thought like this: I'm there to work and earn money, not to make friends, not to fake a friendship with any manager. If they fire me, no manager is going to ask me how I'm holding up or what my plans for the future are. What may look like a friendship is all fake.

There is, however, a manager where I work at that everybody agrees she is friendly and goes the extra mile to help employees. When I say everybody I mean that literally, none of the coworkers I asked said anything remotely bad about this person. At my company there are other managers everybody agrees are narcissistic morons and everyone hates them.

I had an argument with this manager everyone likes and after thinking about it, it was mostly my fault we raised our voices. She raised her voice first but because I wasn't listening to her because she triggered me.

I feel bad about it and I can't believe I'm writing this, but I'd like to have a private conversation with her to apologize and explain why she triggered me. She also does typical things any manager does that I find very unfair that I want to explain so she maybe stops it.

Is being honest and having such a conversation a stupid idea?

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[–] narr1@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

the capitalists are the enemy not other workers. an easy way of distinguishing capitalists at a workplace and within said workplace's hierarchy is asking a question: "would the workplace function were they not to come to work one day?" and if the answer is no, then they aren't a capitalist. based on this text i'd say you probably should strive to clear the air between the two of you, if for nothing else than to make working there less shitty for screaming at a nice lady who just works there.

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I see what you're saying but idk man, every work I've ever had continued to function when I didn't show up (because sick or whatever).

[–] narr1@lemmy.ml 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

well yeah, the argument kinda falls apart when you apply it to yourself. in any case referring to ideologies in order to not have to apologize when you've screamed at a fellow worker seems kinda weird to me, because i've never really thought "all managers are enemies" or whatever, seems really needlessly extreme and shortsighted to direct your animosity towards this person in particular. just go apologize and go on with your life.

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 4 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I'm not OP but

the argument kinda falls apart when you apply it to yourself

It would also fall apart if anyone else applied it to me :)

[–] narr1@lemmy.ml 2 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

yeah mostly applicable to the c-suite in most cases now that i think of it :D and also yeah i thought you were the OP in my reply, sry